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You know what my problem is?
I have no friends. I feel lonely.
I have no one to sit with at lunch.
I have no one to talk to during class.
I have 0 social contact.
I don't use social media.
I feel so invisible.
Last week I was walking to school when someone asked me what time it was, I felt so good...I was in a happy mood for the entire week.
My problem is that I look weird.
I look dumb.
I probably am dumb.
I don't talk at school, I'm always so quiet.
But I'm not shy/nervous.
I always daydream about having a regular conversation with people when I sit in the bus and I look out of the window.
My diary is my best friend, I treat her like a human. I gave her a name and I always talk with her about my day.
At home, I don't really talk as well.
That's how I am.
No one even knows my name. We have arranged seats, so once I wasn't sitting in my arranged seat and I went to the corner to charge my laptop...the teacher was taking attendance and asked who was absent that day. The class said that everyone was present when one other girl said that "Oh the girl is absent today" and the teacher was like "Which girl? What's her name?" and then she said "The one who sits infront of me, I don't know her name."...The school year's about to end and no one knows my name.
I then said that "I'm here!". And the teacher didn't hear, so I got an absent for that day.
But that made me feel good too!
Last year our English teacher was passing out markers, so then someone passed me the box of markers and I felt sooooo good because someone noticed me that I'm alive. I feel like no one can see me, so imaginary....I day dream of a social life.
But when I try....it gets weird. What do I do? I don't want to live like this.
You check my phone...I have my dad's phone number, my mom's phone number, the home phone, and my mom's friend's phone number. That's it. At least when they ask me to do chores I feel better.
I feel lonely....
I am alone.
Would I feel better if I start using social media or if I make an online friend?
I am not allowed to use social media though...
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