It lingers and I'm still paranoid about it.

I think someone/people have been spying on me and my family, in our apartment. I had this feeling that they installed hidden cameras in our walls or something. I think it has happened within the past 3 years and it bothers me alot. I don't know if there's videos or pictures of us somewhere floating around on the internet. The idea of it freaks me the fuck out, knowing that some pervert has been watching us and who know what else. I think when I noticed something was off and I was starting to inspect everything, they might of uninstalled them. This already makes me sound crazy but I've notice really strange incidences. I don't know for sure anymore and what to do because if it's too late, then nothing can be done. I haven't felt comfortable for a long while and I still don't feel safe living where I am

I don't have much of a choice for the time being as we can't afford to even move.

I don't feel comfortable leaving the house alone as often, because for some reason, people have been acting strange with me out in public. It's been a constant thing happening to me for the past 3 years and I don't understand why. I don't know if I have had a stalker for years or not, but I can't function normally anymore. I feel trapped no matter where I go and I don't know if it's done on purpose. Not sure the motivation behind it if it's to intimidate me, control me and prevent me from living my life.

I don't know if it's one person, I think it's multiple people involved and nobody cares to say something if they know what's going on. I have no place to go that's a safe haven for me and not have to feel like I'm constantly being watched. Don't understand anymore why this is happening to me and why I suddenly feel this way.

I never felt this way before and it's strange that out of nowhere, things just became worst. I know myself that I wasn't paranoid like this before and many of my friends, family and partner noticed I've changed. I have started to doubt and question if this has been going on since I moved into this place or longer. Started to doubt myself and winder if it's all in my head or it's actually happening. I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore with my surroundings and I'm losing my shit.

I don't know if rumors, lies and who know what else has been done behind my back. Could explain why people have been passive aggressive with me out in public. I'm not sure if there's a fucking pervert in my building or not. I don't know if I'm overthinking everything, everytime I mention something to my family and friends that something doesn't feel right, they don't seem to believe me.

I just don't know what's going on...

I want to get the fuck away from this town, city, country maybe and move far away as I possibly can. I want to go somewhere that nobody knows me and can't bother me like this again. This has seriously fucked me up and ruined my life. I've already suffered a great deal in my childhood til now and people have been fucking playing games with me.

I don't trust anyone anymore because of all of this and I just completely shut down.

I'm sick of all the abusive bullshit, secrets, lies, assumptions, defamation and hate, that I have been put through by others. Tired of people getting away with harming me on purpose and not having to deal with the consequences. I'm not a bad person who deserves this and what's being done is fucking sociopathic.

Been tormented for awhile now and I can't do this anymore. Everything has been giving me suicidal thoughts and I'm really going crazy here.

I don't know what to do.

I'm lost.