I didn’t make it

I didn't make it. I didn’t graduate. I’m so very ashamed. I pretty much quit school a very long time ago. In middle school. I missed a lot due to my anxiety. I didn’t know it was anxiety at the time so I was often viewed as lazy by the school staff. They hated me. I couldn’t do it anymore. It got to the point where I’d hurt myself just to get out of school. They say my parents took me out of school was amazing. I continued for about a year in home schooling but then my father lost his job. He could only afford my cover school. No books my grade, no internet for cheap home schooling. And again, due to my anxiety, I could not go back to public school. I’m sure their was ways but as a child, I was happy I didn’t have to do school work. I hate myself for not continuing. Not only did I lose all contact to the outside would, I’m just ashamed to be alive. I will never do anything with my life. I’m just a shut in unable to move. Always depending on others.

It hurts so much seeing everyone in my class graduating. I just feel so much resentment towards myself. I should have fought it. I’ll never be able to experience a senior year In High school. senior pictures, graduation caps and gowns. Quotes. Prom. Even if I were to get my GED. I will never feel equal to anyone. I will always feel beneath them.