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When people in your surroundings persistently slander you, it can have a great impact on you and make matters worst If they keep calling you ugly, stupid, slut, fat and other degrading names. They might even give "tough love" and that's never helpful either. Eventually, you will start to believe all that they say about you because it never stops. You will even believe, listen and care about what people you don't know has to say about you. Nobody ever says anything good about you, it's like the good you've ever done just disappears suddenly and you're now a horrific person.
All what's left is the bad. “She's "bad" this and "bad" that.” “Stay away from her, she's trouble and she doesn't care”. “She'll do this and that”. It goes on forever.
The verbal and emotional abuse gets into your head, next thing you know your self esteem starts to deteriorate and drop. You end up with thoughts being consumed with emptiness and a sense of nothingness. You have this belief that there's no purpose for you being alive. How you're a bad person and never good enough.
This is exactly what happened to me continues to happen without any breaks. I haven't been recovered ever since. Hard to love yourself when nobody acts like they genuinely love you.
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I feel the same way. A life of pain and degradation. Praying for relief. I am still working on my story but I think I have finally found my light. I have sinned many times and made my share of mistakes. I have also had an equal share of abuse of all kinds. I believe that there is a light for everyone. It comes from within. I have just started to discover mine. It is faint and flickering but I can see it. One day you will see yours too.
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