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So I graduated with master last December with my masters, but have still not started anything to apply for a job. in my field, you have to have a portfolio to apply for any job. Life was tough being an international student but my parents were really supportive and asked me to just concentrate on my studies and avoid the part-time job, which means that I was all sponsored by them....and now after almost 6 months I am still relying on them for my survival here...not able to find even a part-time job. I have no idea what I did in these past months.........the thing is I am well aware of all the sacrifices my parents are doing for me but I don't know what is going on in my mind that I am not working... I hate myself.....Every night before sleeping I convince myself to wake up tomorrow and work but I am yet another loser the next day... I sit in front of my laptop for hours with my file open but end up doing nothing.....
Plus I can't immediately get a part-time... I have been trying....and to do my portfolio it will need around 3 weeks time...
one thing that I thought was t change my city, because where I am living right now I a small city, so I was thinking of moving to the big city..... to get that rush and fear...this city where I right now feel too comfortable with people and all plus I feel homesick here now...been almost 2 years I saw my family...
what the hell is wrong with me.????? what am I waiting for????? how should I get charge of my life ?????? I feel worthless every single day but not able to make efforts for it to change.......
I feel like giving up
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