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I just dont get why no one ever seems to care about how I feel. I constantly will ask others how they're doing and check up on them, but why dont they do that back? They will just wait for me to ask to unload their emotions but never give me the chance to do the same so I end up writing about them here but then not many people see or comment anyway, which is fine, but I wish more people in my life would try to talk to me. Maybe they assume I'm fine since I dont seem to have any drama and if no one is hurting me that they can see then everything must be fine. But there is so much more to how I feel and they never let me talk. I just want to tell people how i feel but i have nowhere to say it since i have a hard time consistantly keeping a journal and i feel bad venting here. I guess that's counterproductive, but its frusterating. I get that other have things going on in their life, but so do I. Maybe its becuase my problems aren't as big as theirs? Or maybe they dknt know enough about me to see them. But maybe if they talked to me they would. It's just getting hard to be in the background all the time and only coming to the surface when they need to talk before retreating after I've done my part. I just want some friend to listen. I just want to talk.
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Maybe because you're such a caring, conscientious person. It sounds like the people in your life aren't conscientious, but only caring about themselves and too wrapped up in their own lives to ask, which is sad. I'm truly sorry.
I wish you could find someone to talk to, who is more caring like you. Sounds like you're attracting people who take advantage of your kindness, but since they're not giving you what you need, I wonder if you could talk to a councelor. Sorry for the trite advice.
Btw, How are you doing?
ReplyHi, thank you for responding. I am doing a bit on the rocks. I'm very tired recently, more than physically and nothing fixes it. I'm also sad overall dur to my self image at the moment and I'm worried for some of my friends.
Thanks for asking me, how are you doing?
ReplyMaybe you care too much. Maybe you're letting your friends suck the life out of you (guessing), cuz you're such a caring person. Someone needs to worry about you. I'm so sorry you're feeling sad and tired. It won't always be that way. I hope you get refeshed soon.
I feel badly that you're having self-image problems. I sense that you're amazing. I hope you can see yourself that way. What's causing the self image issues (if you feel like saying)? I don't want to pry.
ReplyI cant think of an exact cause of my self image issues. I think its possibly just how my mind works or maybe due to things I've seen in media or other things along the lines of that. Your not prying, I think you're just being a kind person and looking out for someone else. Thank you so much for your kind words and I think you are a very caring person as well.
ReplyI hear you! I'm full of self image issues. A lot of us are, so you're not alone. The media totally messes with us, on self image.
You're sweet, and your friends are lucky to have you. I wonder if you brought it to there attention, that they never ask how you're doing. Maybe they're not mature enough yet to be conscious of it. They may be completely oblivious. I remember being oblivious like that. You're undoubtedly way ahead of them in that area. I hope you find a caring friend.
I'm sorry you're so tired. Is it from worrying? Maybe the way your mind works. Mine too Lol. Can't stop worrying about everything and everybody. It's hard on us.
Reply*their attention Lol
ReplyHi! Sorry for replying late. (And I'm on my account now) . I am a bit worried about confronting them since a good deal of them are very intimidating but thank you for the advice. Yeah I get tired becuase I think about a lot of different things and issues and that keeps me up and exhausts me mentally. Plus I look a but too far into different things si when I'm worrying about everything and over analyzing it gets a bit exhausting. Thank you again for all your kindness!
ReplyI totally get it. I probably couldn't bring something like that up to my friends either. My best friend is exactly how you described your friends. I truly feel for you and your mental exhaustion. I do that too...ruminate and overthink. It's a lot better than it was. I hope this doesn't offend you, but I have a lot more peace since finding God (I'm a Christian). You're in my prayers, luv. Take care and be good to yourself. I hope your day is going well.
Reply(Sorry I sorta keep adding to this conversation) I had a fairly good day and I hope you are well too
ReplyI missed your comment (no alert). I love that added more to the conversation, and I'm so happy you had a pretty good day. I had more to say anyway, Lol.
I was just remembering, when I quit watching TV and buying magazines (so I'm basically media-free), I quit having self-image issues. It's amazing the impact it has on us. That's all. Take care, my friend. I hope you have another good day tomorrow (today, actually). Cheers!
ReplyAnd I hope you keep adding more to the conversation (if you want to).
ReplyHonestly, I'm so glad to have someone to talk to like this. I had a pretty good day again! And thanks for sharing to your experience/advice. I sorta feel bad only talki ng about myself though, so how are you? And is there anything you would like to talk about?
ReplyAwesome that you had another good day! Don't worry about talking about yourself. I'm good. Sometimes I get a depressed for a few days for no reason at all, but I'm on a good streak for now. I hope you keep your good streak going. But life happens, and we take the good with the bad. I hope you'll keep letting me know how you're doing. You're still in my prayers, luv. I hope your evening is good too, assuming it's evening where you are.
ReplyI hope you're doing okay and having another good day, and if you're not, I hope you'll let me know, either way. I'm doing pretty good. No depression days lately. yay :) I wish the same for you, luv
ReplyI'm so glad you're doing good! Sorry I take a while to respond sometimes. I had a few bad parts of my day but I'm trying. I'm struggling with being ok with my body image again but I think I'll get better at it. I hope that your days continue to be good! And again I'm grateful to talk with you!
ReplyDon't worry! Take all the time you want, even if it's days. Omgosh, I get the body image issues. It was an obsession for me, and would always set the tone for my day. It's really exasperating. I get it. I'm somewhat better now, but it's still there. I'm sorry you're dealing with it. it's one of the most unfun things ever. We are not our bodies. It's hard to get that into our heads though. I'm grateful to talk to you too!
ReplyI dont know how I got so lucky as for someone like you to talk to me like this! You are truly inspiring! I am sorry you went through body image issues it's no fun :( also I hope that you continue to have good days! You deserve all the good things!
ReplyYou're really sweet. I'm lucky to talk to you. We're both lucky :) Body image issues are totally ubiquitious. We have so much company...like almost everyone Lol. When you're younger, it's harder, as you worry more about what people thnk. High school was the worst. I'm being reminded of what a relief it is to not worry so much anymore. Do you ever feel like you can't enjoy food? I do, at least not good food, like pizza and hamburgers, etc.
Sorry about the bad parts of your day. I hope they fade. I hope your evening is better. Take care, luv.
ReplyThank you again for your kindness. Yes I di feel bad about eating a lot of food. Usually anything with high calories carbs or grease, but other times its anything. And thank you for sharing advice and experiences. I have calmed down a bit from earlier, thanks, and I wish you the best day
ReplyGosh, I didn't see the notification. I'm SO sorry. I was wondering how you're doing today. I should have checked here. Maybe you've already gone to bed, if you're in the US. It's 11pm for me, but I have hours to go before bedtime.
How is your weekend going? I'm in a depressed phase, but so used to it, so no big deal. I hope you're still in your "good day" phase. Sorry again for not seeing this. Sending you a hug! Take care, luv.
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ReplyDont worry about responding late! I do the same thing. I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time and I hope it gets better. If talking would help then feel free to do so and I will listen and offer any thoughts that may be helpful. I hope you feel better soon! Returning your hug <3
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ReplyYou're awesome. I'm better already. That never happens, but I'll take it. It's rarely situational for me. It's usually just a dark cloud that appears for no reason. For you, is it more situational or just happens?
Well, you're supposed to say how you're doing. There you go again, being concerned about others and forgetting about your lovely self. So spill it, Lol. I truly hope you're feel happy. Too bad we can't feel happy every day, at least not that I know of.
Anyway, I'm almost headed for bed, so take care, dear and talk soon ... or whenever :)
ReplyFor me it tends to just happen, but situations can impact it or make it come up. I am doing ok.... for now. I got one of those self help books to see if reading it would help but I'm skeptical. I'm so glad that you're doing better. I hope you get/got some good rest!!
I hope things continue to go well and again thanks for continuing to tlak with me! :D
ReplyYou expressed it perfectly. It just comes and situations impact it. My biggest impact is usually my mom. I'm terrified of her and her moods. She's like Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Scary woman! lol
I'm glad you're at least doing okay. You can always say, if you're not totally okay. I'm a listening ear, if you're comfortable.
I've been writing down my most upsetting experiences from the past (even though it's painful to do), because of a study done by James Pennebaker. He found that by writing about the most upsetting experiences in our lives for 15-20 a day, for several days (or whenever) makes us happier and healthier. I think it's helping.
Thank YOU for talking to me. I'm truly grateful for talking to you. You're always in my prayers, luv. I don't even know if you believe in God. I'm only a new believer, but He has really strengthened me and healed a lot of emotional issues that I had. But I don't expect you to jump right on that bandwagon, Lol.
Take good care, luv and have a great day.
ReplyI am sorry to hear that your mom triggers it :( it would be scary to live with dr. Jekyll mr. Hyde. I'm a bit nervous since I upset one of my friends but I keep doing that so I'm a bit less fazed. I did try writing about my problems but I think too fast for my hand to keep up so usually the pages are full of scattered and unorganized thoughts and i can never keep it up consistently, but thanks ou for the advice. To answer your question I believe in God but I do not attend church or pray (I used to pray more with my dad when I was younger) but I am thankful to be in your prayers. I continue to wish only the best for you!
ReplyGosh, sorry you're worrying about upsetting your friend. Imo, if your friend is easily upset, it's most likely NOT your fault, but because of her own issues, but it depends on the situation, I suppose. Awesome that you're less fazed by it. I hope y'all resove it.
Are you a highly sensitive person? I keep getting that feeling. If so, I'm sorry and we're in the same category, which I'd love to NOT be in, Lol
Fortunately I don't live with Mom, but she lives 2 miles away, and that's just too close lol. Cheers, luv and don't worry so much (easier said than done).
ReplyI am actually a highly sensitive person and I really wish it wasn't that way as well since it sorta means my whole day can change in a second. I'm glad you're not in the same house as your mother when she is a trigger but I am also sorry that you live too close. We sort of did resolve it but I'm just trying to put some space between myself and my friends... I tend to do it a lot despite how destructive it is to myself. I hope that you find ways to take breaks from some of the situations you're in which may cause you harm either mentally or physically. And not to pry too much but is there anything you're looking forward to? Usually looking towards the future gives me hope. I hope that your day is awesome <3
ReplyAww, you too? I figured. Being a HSP is a curse in most ways. I'm like you. The smallest thing can shift my whole day. I cry easily over anything, happy or sad lol. I try to stay as even keel as possible, but when Mom comes around, it all falls apart.
Maybe putting space between you and your friends isn't destructive. It's what sensitive people need to do as a coping mechanism. I do it too. Otherwise, it's too overwhelming. Maybe you're just doing what's best for you. We need more alone time than others.
You're so right about having something to look forward to. My situation is different. I have chronic Lyme disease, so I'm stuck at home. I look forward to small things in the day, but nothing in the future. I usually feel happy that way. I'm actually okay with the depressed days. They make the good days better, plus I always think of the benefits of pain, one being that we build character. So my friend and I always joke that we're building more character today, lol. You have an awesome day or evening too, dear.
ReplyI feel glad to knwo that you find the light in the dark and I am sorry to hear about your condition. I think that you may be right about needing time alone to recharge, but explaing it to others is hard. I also cry a lot at any extreme emotion, my friends noticed animals (mainly birds cats and dogs) tend to make me cry lol... sorry for the random information there.
I also want to let you know that you are honestly very inspiring to me just from the words weve exchanged, so thank you for talking with me so much! I hope you are doing well! 💜💜💜
Reply(Also I am sorry that it takes me a bit to respond sometimes)
ReplyI don't want you to ever worry about responding in time, luv.
I'll have to respond later because my internet is down and I tried to respond on my phone and it got lost so this isn't really my response 🤗
ReplyYay, I have internet. You are the one who inspires me. I'm so grateful to talk to you. Please don't ever worry about responding soon. If you take days, I'm still here. No worries at all.
I totally cry about animals too. I get you. I'm actually way more sensitive to animals than people for some reason. Maybe because they're more helpless in ways.
You're right. Other people don't understand our need for extra time alone. My people don't. They just think I'm being unsocial.
I'm so sorry your friends aren't considerate of your feelings. They must see you as the strong stable one, which is cool, but I wish they could see that you're human too. Maybe you could stage a break-down lol (my weird sense of humor). People can be really selfish, and forget to care or notice. I say this a lot, but I quit caring that people don't care, and it's actually liberating, but easier said than done.
How are you feeling today? I'm mostly okay. I truly hope your day is going well, luv. If you're ever feeling unhappy, I hope you feel comfortable talking about it.
Replyomgosh, I didn't mean to be so long-winded. Sorry! lol
ReplyDont worry about typing a lot, I enjoy talking to you so it's no problem! I am actually doing a bit better today but I'm a bit nervous since I am going to try to talk to someone who I've been distant with. Also, I like your joke, I have a weird sense of humor too lol. They're considerate sometimes though so I'll give them that but I guess it is sort of my fault for not being too open. Oh and I do feel comfortable talking with you! I'm so glad to have your kindness in your life, and if you ever need to talk something out or vent or need advice feel free to ask or say so. I will always be here to listen even if it does take a bit for me to respond. I am trying fo care less about what people think but like you said it is a little hard, but I have made some progress. (Also this is a random side tangent but I think you should listen to the song "pilot" by amber run, if you want to and if you like music lol)
Thank you so much for caring, especially becuase you dont have to and I hope that you are having a wonderful day and have a great week!
ReplyI hope all goes well (or went well) for you, talking to the person you've been distant with. I'd be nervous too. Good luck!
Thanks for offering to hear me vent and for advice. I'm sure I'll need both Lol.
How are you feeling today? I truly hope you're having a good day. I'm glad to hear you feel comfortable talking about it.
My day is just starting out. Having some anxiety, but that's normal. I live in a townhome among hundreds of townhomes and there's too much noise and commotion for a sensitive person, so I have to find ways to adjust.
I listened to Pilot. I like it. I kept wondering if it's a re-make. It sounds so familiar, like something from the 80s. Thanks for telling me about it.
I think you're awesome and I'm so glad to talk to you. It's nice to know kind people like you. Thanks for being one of the nice ones. Have a wonderful day, luv.
ReplyI had an ok day. I've been pretty distracted lately thinking about different things. The person I tried talking to either didnt see it or ignored me, but I figured that would happen. And yeah anytime you want to talk go ahead, and I'm sorry that your environment is overwhelming. I hope your anxiety reduces so it isnt too overbearing. Thank you for the well wishes, and how is your day going so far? Hope all is well!
ReplyI'm glad your day was at least okay. If you feel like talking about your distractions, I'm listening. My day was pretty good. You're supposed to dump on me, lol, not the other way around. I don't really have anything. I guess I'm worried about my mom. She's having pains and had lab work. I'm worried about her results. I already lost my dad and sister to cancer, since 2015. Maybe she's going to be fine. I hope your evening or day is going well. Take it easy, dear and take good care.
ReplyI am sorry to hear about your family and I hope everything is alright with your mom. And also you can feel free to talk about anything anytime, I would feel bad if it was just me talking about myself. I'm doing ok, I wasn't so good earlier but I've calmed down. I hope you are also doing well and again I hope everything is alright.
ReplyThank you 💙 I love kind people like you. You're awesome. Sorry you had a rough start. I'm glad you've calmed down and doing better. You can always say when you're not doing so good. I'm not good at saying it lol. I'm feeling pretty good, other than the usual anxiety. I hope your day keeps getting better. Sending you a hug🤗
ReplySending a high back! I'm doing better now, just had to distract myself from everything. I'm glad your doing well. Thank you for the kind words and compliment, I think you're more kind than I am and I am so glad that you exist. The world needs more people like you 💜
ReplyHug*
ReplyThanks for the hug, dear. How are you doing today? I'm okay. Mom's test results were good, so that's a relief. She makes life difficult, but it would be more difficult without her (I think? lol).
Take care, sweetie. You're still in my prayers💛
ReplyOn glad to hear everything went well! Honestly I'm having a pretty rough day... I guess it could be worse though. It is a honor to know that you're praying for me and I will do the same for you! I hope everything is well and your day is great. 🧡
ReplyI'm SO sorry your day is rough. I wish I could help. Don't hesitate to talk about it, if it helps. I truly hope your day gets better. I guess we can't always have good days, though it would sure be nice. I truly feel for you, luv. Take good care!
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ReplyYeah I wish th ings would get better. One of my friends keeps hurting me and I cant confront her becuase she'll just lash out and turn people against me and make it seem like I'm the one to blame but I'm so tired of it. Thank you for caring though. I am sure things will get better for me eventually becuase it is inevitable. Thank you and have a great day!
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ReplyOmgosh, I'm so sorry about your friend hurting you all the time. She must be feeling inadequate or threatened, if she feels the need to keep hurting you. Wow, this is such a difficult situation. I hope it works itself out. This must be so hard on you. I don't even know what to say. I had a two-faced friend growing up, and it was hard, but what you're going through may be much different. I wish you good luck with her. I truly feel for you. Much love to you, dear.
ReplyThank you for the kind words. I think I may have worked it out with her but I'm still unsure. I hope you're well <3!
ReplyOh good. I hope so, and hoping you're feeling well today, or at least feeling strength to get through whatever. Still praying for you, dear.
I'm okay. I guess I've been pushing God too much here. It just blurts out of my mouth (fingers)Lol. Someone didn't like it and thought I didn't care, and was using God, instead of actually caring. But I REALLY DO CARE. It's that he changed my life, and gave me hope, and I want everyone to get that kind of help. So I'm kinda down in a way, cuz I get really sensitive to comments like that, and now I'm hesitant to comment.
I totally didn't want to dump on you, but the other way around. So dump away Lol. Take care, sweetie. I hope your day is really good. With Love!
ReplyI am doing better. I'm just kind of drifting through life but it could be worse. I'm sorry to hear that someone made you upset, and you can reference God as much as you want to when talking to me because I understand the hope he gives to people and how he can save people. And it's ok to be sensitive, especially in that situation becuase someone is insulting what changed your life for the better. I hope you feel better and you can dump as much as you want. Even if it takes me a bit to answer I will always be here for you. I hope you're doing great. <3
ReplyI'm so glad to know you're doing better. "Drifting through life" sounds better than most people here on this site. Many here are really down and wanting to end it, so maybe we're doing okay. I'm drifting too. It's not so bad. Thanks for mentioning you understand that God gives hope. It's nice when someone understands.
Thank you so much for your kind words. You said just what I needed to hear and I felt much better after reading your comment. You're such a kind person and I'm truly glad to hear from you. I hope your day goes well and that you have many happy moments. Have a lovely day. Much Love!
ReplyI am having a very nice day, and I hope you are too. I also hope that with people like you on this site others who are havi ng a hard time may find hope. And I do understand your connection with God because I believe that everyone needs something or someone to continually give them hope so if God motivates you to keep going then that is great! Thank you for the compliments, I can tell that you are such a wonderful person who is full of kindness and cares so much about others. I'm so glad that people who have heart like you exist in this world, it gives me hope that maybe not everything is as bad as it seems. I hope you are doing great and I wish for everything to go well for you! 💜💜
ReplyThat's awesome that your day was good. I hope the same for today. Mine is pretty good...no complaints. You say the sweetest things. I'm not a wonderful person Lol. Ask my neighbors, who I used to F-bomb before I became a Christian. So I guess I'm nicer now, but I was a wretch and still kind of a wretch, but working on it.
I can suddenly identify with your post even more. My closest friend reminds me of how you described your friends. I'll tell her about the things in my life, and she'll completely ignore it, because all of a sudden she has all this drama in her life and it's all about her and nothing about my life is important. Is that kind of how it is with your friends? If so, I'm so sorry.
I hope your day is lovely. Today feels like a good day. Take it easy, luv and talk soon (or whenever you want).
ReplyUnfortunately, that is how my friends are. And I'm sorry to hear that you deal with the same thing becuase it makes it harder to Express yourself or feel comfortable talking to people, at least in my experience. I'm glad to hear that you had a good day, mines been a bit bad, but I'm trying to distract myself from it lol.
Even though you may not have been the best person before, you obviously were at heart because you worked towards bettering yourself. Change shows that you care or that you want to improve. I'm glad to hear that you're getti ng better, but I would never dislike who you used to be becuase that is still you and it lead you to become who you are now. Even if you claim to still be "kind of a wretch" 1. At least youre working on it 2. We all have imperfections and cant be kind all the time and 3. That doesnt mean that you aren't the amazing person I know you to be. I know I can get pretty negative sometimes which may lead to bad things, but you still believe me to be kind. And that's what I think about you, becuase the positives outweigh the negatives. Skrry if that's sort of repetitive... I guess I was rambling a bit there. But you are such a kind person, and again I'm sorry your friend ignores your problems. Have a wonderful day you wonderful person <3
ReplyI'm so sorry you're not having a good day. I wish I could help in some way. You deserve a good day. Is there anything that caused it to be bad? I truly hope it gets better or passes quickly.
Reading your comments is such a breath of fresh air. I appreciate everything you said. Maybe we're both nice people who have bad days. I didn't make a habit of cussing at my neighbors. It's that I have extreme noise sensitivity and they have 2 kids and 2 dogs and can make a lot of noise. I'm less bothered by them now, yay. I'm actually really shy, so to cuss at someone, I have to be really on edge, Lol.
Well, now I understand what you're going through with your friends to some extent. I didn't even realize it was happening, until reading your post, and still it didn't completely sink in for a while. I suppose we're both good listeners. People value us as someone who listens and because we seem stable. But they don't seem to realize we have out own problems that need addressing at times.
Some people never really mature to that level, where they realize it's not all about them. There's a book called "Now We Are Six" by A. A. Milne. It's about narcissitic people, and they don't seem to mature emotionally past the age of 5 or 6, even though they're older. My parents would both fit that category. Maybe your freinds and my friend would too, to some extent. I hope you get feeling better, luv. I'll pray for you. Talk later. Take good care.
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ReplyMy day is a bit better now. I've been taking it kind of easy and keeping my mind of some thi ng s that were bugging me. It never seems to be something specific but rather a great deal of things adding up to destroy my mental state. It usually passes quickly though.
What you said about reading my comments, I feel the same. It gives me something to look forward to, and I dont typically get to comfortably talk (?) Like this. I think you are a nice person, and I think anyone who is pushed too far is bound to act out becuase it's hard to keep your composure in those moments. I'm sorry to hear about your noise sensitivity but I'm glad it's better. I used to have something similar as a result of a particularly disturbing and loud noise that effected me for a while, and it wasnt fun so I'm sorry.
I feel bad that you learned how I felt thr hard way becuase it is a feeling I would wish upon no one. It does get annoyi ng when people are too wrapped up in themselves to acknowledge those around them. But it is good to care about your issues too so it's about finding the balance. One of my friends actually had an outburst directed towards me the other day which has stuck with me, but she said that she realised I was goi ng through a lot and didnt mean to add to it.... so I guess that was minor progress, but she still is a bit self absorbed... I feel bad calling her that though.
I've been told I'm mature so maybe it's me that's different and most people dont care? But j dont like to think that. I prefer the hope that peopel will come to care about others like you do. I will have to check out the book you mentioned. I am feeling better, talking to you helps a lot. Thank you for praying for me, I will do the same and I continue to wish only the best for you!
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ReplyI'm glad your day got a little better and I hope today is great. I hope you let me know. I know what you mean by little things adding up. Sometimes it starts as soon as I get up. But for the most part, I've been feeling emotionally really good these days, better than I have in years, for longer spans of time. Yay, finally.
I'm so sorry about your friend's outburst. For a highly sensitive person, it's much more painful, so no wonder it stuck with you and it must have really hurt. It would me. I feel for you. I'm glad she almost/kinda apologized.
I already knew that you're more mature. It's obvious because you're conscientious. SO many people aren't that way, if you really notice. I'm sure your friends care a lot about you, but are just on the self-centered side.
Oh, so you've experienced noise sensitivity. I'm sorry! It's kinda awful, right? I have smell sensitivty too, and all my neighbors use highly scented fabric softener or drier sheets and I don't like the smell of food cooking, so Thanksgiving is out Lol. I'm not having those outbursts at my neighbors lately. I'm really trying to change my character flaws Lol. Actually Christians believe that once we come to Him(Jesus), he changes us. I feel he really is. yay.
I truly hope your day is awesome. Mine is just starting. My sleep schedule is off Lol. Take care, sweetie. Have a nice day.
ReplyMy day is sort of good. I woke up to people working on my roof and their equipment is blocking my way out so I cant really go anywhere... but I've been cleaning which is relaxing to me. I'm glad that you've been emotionally well especially since it sounds like that is a rare occurance. You deserve to be well
My friend and I have been talking more today and things seem to be better between us so that's good at least. I think my friends care about me as well, they may just now show it as much or in the same way as I would imagine. But I shouldn't set expectations for them so I guess that's my fault... at least partially.
Yeah noise sensitivity is the worse and i am very glad i have gotten over it ... sort of. I dont have smell sensitivity unless it's extremely overpowering or a smell i dont like, and I'm sorry to hear you deal with that. I think it's nice that you're working on self improvement and I'm glad that finding God has helped you with that. Self improvement is great but dont criticize yourself too much becuase you seem like a fairly amazing person. And dont try to change all at once. Sorry for rambling lol.
Like I said my day is pretty well. I hope you have a great day as well! I also have a weird sleeping schedule, and I hope that despite that you are still getting enough rest to stay healthy. Make sure to take care of yourself! And you're doing great, never forget that!! <3
ReplyAwesome that your day is somewhat good and that you and your friend are talking more. Thanks for letting me know. It seems like you're really important to your friends, one reason being, they probably don't have anyone else that really listens. Someone that really HEARS another, is a rare gem. Sorry you get that job and they don't give you the same in return. I guess you can't expect someone who doesn't have that maturity level to suddenly get it. Well it's all about my friend again today too, but I'm used to it. It's not bothering me. I'm actually amused by it, now that it's come to my attention. It's fun to observe Lol.
Oh My Gosh! those roof workers ALWAYS start SO early. I hear construction going on in the morning too. Sorry you awakened to that. Oh good! We both have weird sleep schedules. I can't change back. I used to get up EARLY, life 5am. Now I barely even go to bed by 3am. I hope you're getting enough sleep. I might get too much.
My good days used to be a rare occurance, but they've been increasing for the past 8 months. Most every day used to be bad. Now most ev ery day is good. I'm almost always in a good mood and it was even a migraine day today.
Well, I think you're the amazing one and I'm really glad we connected here. It's nice to have someone like you, whom I can relate to. Thank you for being you and for continuiing to talk with me. Have a lovely evening (assuming its evening for you lol).
ReplyIt is evening where I am! And I'm sorry for hear about your friend. I think you're really insightful and observant about others. Yeah when I dont have anything to do during the day I become nocturnal. I feel more at ease at night and its nice since not many other people are up at thise times. I dont think theres too much sleep as long as you continue to take care of yourself. I'm glad that your good days became more frequent and I'm glad that you didnt have a migraine today. I also think you're amazing and I am grateful to have met you hear becuase it is such a pleasure to talk to you! I can relate to you as well and it's a nice change. And I should be the one who is thanking you. Have a wonderful evening (?) <3
ReplyYou say the kindest things. It makes my heart happy. I'm really grateful to talk to you. You're amazing.
I just remembered that your friend said you are going through a lot. Are you still? Sorry, I totally forgot about that. I hope things are going well.
I don't expect to always be in a good mood, lol. I'm feeling really lucky right now and will just be grateful for the moment.
That's totally it! I feel more at ease at night too. It's finally quiet here at night, so I figure I'll take advantage of the quiet. It's the most awesome part of the day. I sort of miss early mornings though, in the summer, because I miss the cool part of the day and when I get up, it's already hot.
You're the observant, insightful one. It took me a while to realize that about my friend..that it's all about her. It took your post Lol. We haven't been friends that long, but bonded because of chronic pain issues.
You have a wonderful evening and sweet dreams, my dear.
ReplyI'm glad to hear that my kind words make you happy! I really mean them. You're also amazing and thank you for the kind words.
I'm going through some things but most are my fault or it's my fault that I let it get to me. And dknt worry about it too much. Things will get better, its inevitable. I hope you're not going through too much and things are well.
I'm glad that you're happy if even for just a moment becuase you deserve it so much.
Early mornings are nice during summer as a result of the nice weather conditions so I get it.
Even if it took reading my list to realise what was going on you still were able to realise it, but I'm glad to know that my post helped. I'm sorry you two binded of something like that but if you're friendship is mostly positive then tbats good and I hope you can get through the negatives. I hope you're having a great night, and sweet dreams to you as well! <3
ReplyGosh, I hope things get better for you quickly. I'm so sorry for whatever you're going through. I hope you get a break soon. I'm getting a break for now. I'm used to this chronic thing. Being in a break makes me a little nervous though, as I don't know what's coming next. But whatever it is, I'm up for it (maybe?).
How is your day going? I hope you're feeling happy. I'm still trying to wake up my brain. It takes a few hours.
I don't have anything new yet today. Thanks again for all the kind things you say. You're a ray of sunshine. I hope your day is awesome. Enjoy your day, luv.
ReplyThings tend to be up and down so I never know, but it could be worse so I'm ok. I'm sorry that being on a break makes you nervous but I'm glad you are getting a break. And whatever comes next in sure you'll be ready for!
I'm having a good day. My friend and I talked for a while last night which was fun and then today I walked around for a while which was nice. I hope you're having a great day! Feel free to tell me about it!
Its fine that you dont have anything new and I hope that if something new comes along it is good. I want to say thanks to you as well for being so kind, and you are brighter than any star☆ I hope you have a wonderful day <3
ReplyThank you. I truly appreciate your kind words. I'm so glad that you're having a good day. Awesome that you got to talk to your friend and walk around. I love walking. It really clears my head and makes me feel good. Before Lymes, I used to hike several miles every week and ride a bike about 200 miles weekly (give or take). It was such a high. Now I've only been walking about 15 minutes every night, and I'm so tired from it, but I really enjoy it in the moment. So I'm just really tired and unmotivated today, but I still want to walk tonight.
I'm watching my cat have a dream Lol. Her paws are moving and her face is moving and she's kind of growling softly Lol. I'm trying not to laugh out loud and wake her up. SO cute.
If you ever want to talk about what you've been going through, I'm here, but don't want to pry. I know that sometimes it can be a long story with a lot of background and too much to write. Have a wonderful rest of your day!
ReplyI'm sorry to hear that you cant be as active anymore, but I'm glad you can still enjoy short walks at night. I get what you mean about it being a high, being outside in the sun will do that.
I love what you said about your cat, that's adorable!! May I ask what her name is? I have a cat myself lol, I love cats because they're so sweet and lovable. Sorry, mini rant. (Mine is named boo)
Thanks for sayi ng that you will listen. I do have some long tangents about hwats going, though I would feel bad to randomly dump them here. I guess if they particularly annoy me on a certain occasion i will tell you about it, but most of the time I try to ignore the bad. Feel free to do the same if your comfortable. I'm always here to listen and if you want advice I will try my best. I hope you enjoy your evening or day as well! <3
ReplyHow are you doing today? I'm hoping you're having another good day. I slept in. I meant to get up earlier. Oh well.
You can dump anytime, though I get it, if you don't want to do it here. If you get the urge, please don't hesitate. I'm all ears. I know what you mean by wanting to ignore the bad and stay positive. But if you change your mind, I'm here. I'm comfortable ranting here when something comes up.
I love your cat's name. I totally love cats more than anything on earth. I have three cats, but only intended on two. Another one came through my pet door two and a half years ago and I fell in love with him too. Skeeter is the female and Two males, Buddy and Chachi. Is your kitty a male or female? Male cats are so different than female. They're so boistrous Lol. I ranted about cats longer than you. I love talking about cats.
I love the sun, but can't tolerate it anymore. It's part of this chronic thing, so that's why I walk at night. I love the night sky and love walking at night. Thankfully, I live in a very safe area.
I truly hope your day is going well and that you're feeling happy. Cheers 🐱🐱🐱
ReplyMy days good. I'm sorry you didnt get up when you wanted to. I went swimming for a little bit actually.
I'm trying to work some stuff out with people I used to know. I'll tell you how it goes but I think it is going to end well so I'm in a good mood. And yeah go ahead and vent whenever.
My cat is a female lol. I live your cats names as well!! They sound adorable. I totally get what you mean about the difference between cats. I've babysat a boy and they are so much different. I live cats becuase it's so nice when they come to cuddle with you or just pure at you, lol I could talk about cats all day.
I'm sorry you cant tolerate the sun anymore. I'm glad you found an alternative, though. The night sky is very pretty. I dont get to enjoy it to it's full extent due to light pollution. But I can see some main constellations like Orion's belt every now and then. And I'm glad you live in a safe area!
I also hope your day is goi ng well, and I hope you're in a positive mood. Wish ya the best 🐱🐱 <3
ReplyI hope all goes well with the people you used to know and I'm glad you're in a good mood. Wow, I haven't swam in so long. Awesome that you got to.
Lol I think we could both talk about kitties all day long. The each have their own unique personalities and I'm so amused and in love with them.
I have a little rant. It's kind of yesterday's rant lol. I have chronic fatigue with the Lymes, but I'm SO much more tired from walking and I tried to walk slow last night and I don't want to give it up, cuz its the best part of the day. I'm an outdoors person and now I'm stuck inside. And Mom called up to harrass me about stupid stuff, and I was too tired to deal with her so I hung up Lol. Oh well, I hope she'll still bring me ice cream this week. Your turn to rant (if you feel it).
That's too bad about the light polution. So sorry! But awesome that you can still see constellations. I love stars. I'm glad you're in a good mood. I hope it stays, and that the rest of your day is wonderful. Good luck with your people. All the best to you!
ReplyThings seem to be going well. And I'm still in a pretty upbeat mood. I'm sorry to hear you havent swam in a while.
Yes I love observing cats and talking about them! They're so interesting and adorable lol.
I'm sorry to hear about your fatigue and that it made it harder to enjoy the best part of your day. I hope your mom does bring you ice cream, I know that usually cheers me up!
I guess my mini rant would be that I never feel like I can say anything about myself to the people around me because it never seems like they care. They usually just brush it off or forget it. So I can never really tell them about what's going on with me no matter if its positive or negative. And that leaves them to not know me like they think they do because they have no clue about some aspects of my life.
Stars are amazing. I am very much interested in the universe and the sky so it makes me happy when I can see constellations. I am still in a good mood and my days been pretty good so far. Thank you for the well wishes! I hope things with your mom get better and I hope that you get a bit less tired/fatigued over time. I hope you're in an overall good mood, I wish you the best!!
ReplyThat's wonderful that you're feeling up-beat and still in a good mood. I so glad to hear it! I'm in a decent mood with a migraine and fatigue, though I only walked about 3 minutes last night.
I'm empathizing with you about your friends and how they don't listen. I'm so very sorry this is happening. I hope you'll soon find friends in your area, who are more conscientious and caring. I'm sure your friends are great, but not in that area lol. I'm so sorry they make you feel like they don't care and they brush off the things you say. You truly deserve a listening ear and equal give and take relationships. I keep observing my friend. I've mostly decided to stop saying anything about my life, as she never acknowledges it (she used to, a little) and just goes on with her own drama. It's funny in a way.
Thanks for all your kind and understanding words. I don't know anyone who is a better listener than you. Most people just skim messages (it seems), but I can tell you don't. You're an amazing listener and so much more. I hope you keep your upbeat and good mood. I'm happy for you and happy to hear from you. 🌻🌻🌻
ReplyThanks for the kind words! I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling unwell, especially with a migraine.
Yeah I think my friends may just be used to other people being more focused on themselves so they act the same way. Some of their other friends are like that. Or maybe everyone listens to them so they never have to listen. I'm not sure yet. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, if you ever want to talk about yourself or anything go right ahead! It is sort of funny observing behavior in people, especially once you've realised what is going on. But it's sort of sad they dont even notice it.
Thank you for the xlnplinent. I dont think I've met someone so understanding and kind. Or even someone who I connect this much with or who will listen. I am always glad to listen to whatever you have to say. I'm still in a pretty good mood and I'm hoping it stays as well! I really hope you feel better soon. And overall feel positive. (How are you doing overall?) I wish only the best for you! I am also happy to hear from you! 🌸🌸
ReplyAwesome! that you're still in a good mood. I'm really happy that you're doing so well and feeling so positive. It's so great to hear. I'm okay. I get triggered easily by stress, excitement, exertion, or anything stimulating and it causes depression. I thought I could handle a 15 minute walk, but it has triggered me, but I don't feel depressed, but a deep sense of weariness, so I'm going to try 10 minutes, and skip tonight. It's really cold here today. It was 60 in the middle of the day. Are you cold too?
I just saw a post that's exactly what you and I are going through with our friends and it's popular. We're not alone in this lol. I can only think of two friends who have truly listened. I'm totally experiencing what you are. I can't believe our friends can't see it...that it's all about them. I said something about myself today, and she completely ignored it and spoke only of her problems. I'm glad that I'm amused by it and that I met you, who really gets it. I just don't understand why they can't see it. I'm laughing, because it's bizarre to me that people can be so un-self-aware. You are very self-aware, which is truly refreshing.
Thanks for being so kind! And I feel the same about you. I'm so glad to have met you, who is kind, understanding and that I can connect with you. You're a rare gem and I feel lucky to have met you. Happy night and sweet dreams.
ReplyThanks for being happy for me! It was a hit rocky earlier but my friend and I talk a little bit so it was resolved fairly quickly. Still don't have the guts to explain what I've observed though. I'm glad your3 ok but I'm sorry to hear that your sensitive to any emotion. I get it. Sorry to hear about the situation with your walks. I'm not sure if you could classify it as cold here. It was rainy so it was colder than normal, but I live to the north so I'm prett used to it. I hope you stay warm despite the cold!
It's sort of nice to know were not alone but I also feel bad for anyone who deals with this. Its not fun. Sorry to hear that your friend ignored you. I think it is kind of amusing hut I am still sorry you deal with it. And yeah it's odd seeing how oblivious some people are about it. I'm glad to hear you enjoy me being self aware lol. I like that you are as well. You're different re not from the other people I've encountered.
I am also very glad yo have met you. You listen and are kind and care about other peoples feelings while still expressing your own. I'm honored to be called a rare gem, I believe you are too becuase it is hard to encounter people like you. I hope you have a nice night! Stay safe!
ReplyHow are you doing today, luv? I hope your good mood is still with you. When you say that you don't have the guts to explain what you've observed, I'm assuming you're talking about having your thoughts and feelings ignored (tell me if I'm wrong). I totally can't do it either. It's all about my friend again today and I'm sure the same with you and yours. I've tried talking to Mom about it, who does the same thing, in a different way. She glazes over when I talk, so telling her anything is useless. Which is a problem, because she gets my groceries and always gets it wrong lol.
It's 60 degrees here again. You and I are probably used to the same weather. I'm not north... more in the middle, but high elevation. It's a really weird June. It's usually really hot at this time. I used to live in the south. Omgosh, summers were crazy hot and humid. I feel like I'm talking all about me. I'm sorry! I don't have much to go on, bc you're such a good listener lol, you barely talk about yourself, but feel free!
Did things go well with your people yesterday? I don't want to pry. Thanks for being such a good listener and for your compassion and understanding. Feel free to rant anytime. I hope your day is awesome. Take care, luv.
ReplyI'm pretty good. I was outside a lot helping this one woman on her farm so in pretty exhausted lol. It was sort of fun though cuz it was fulfilling and nice to help. You are right about me not being able to tell my friends what I observed, I talked a little bit with one of them yesterday and she got it.... sort of. I'm sorry to hear that your mom doesnt listen especially when you partially depend on her.
It IS a weird June. I totally get what you mean about the weird weather. Usually it's pretty hot by now but this years different, it doesnt even feel like summer. Dont worry about talki ng about yourself! It's totally fine
I had a question, do you like music? I remember you talki ng about being noise sensitive but I didnt know if that meant you disliked music and I sort of contemplated suggesting you some.
Things did go well!! It's not prying lol. You're free to ask me anything you want to know!! I enjoy listening to people, and I dont actively try to be anything but thank you for the compliments!! You're also extremely nice and caring and sympathetic/empathetic. I'm not sure that I have much to rant about right now but thank you! Oh I did want to say ok making some progress on being more positive with my self image so I guess that's going on lol. Sorry for talking about myself so much. I also hope your day is going well. Stay safe and healthy and happy!!
ReplyAww, the farm work sounds so fun. I'm so glad you got to do that. I hope you're exhausted in a good, happy way. Awesome that you got to spend the day outside. And that's wonderful that you're making some self-image progress. That's really big, amazing news. I'm too tired for self image right now Lol. My hair is naturally light blonde, but has been going darker, so I bleached it a while back and now all the roots are growing out and I'm too tired to do it again.
My music taste has totally changed because of noise sensitivity. I only listen to smooth jazz (all day long), because singing seems like noise now. Weird, I know. I've always loved all music (except most classical). What music do you like?
I would love it if you talked more about yourself, even if you spoke about nothing but yourself. Your life is more interesting than mine lol. Well, I'm super tired tonight, so I'll be more brief. Thanks for being so kind and for being you. Happy dreams and I hope you awaken refreshed. Good night <3
ReplyYeah the farm work was fun. It was very exhausting but I was with some friends so it couldve been worse I guess. I'm sorry to hear about your self image and how you're too tired to do your hair again. Do you prefer it to be lighter?
I think its neat that you adapted to fit your circumstances with the music and I dont think your taste in music is weird. I pretty much like any music. I listen to a variety.
Thansk for the offer but I would feel bad inky talking about myself. But since you offered then I will say that you may do the same! I dont really think that my life is more interesting. . But thanks. I'm sorry to hear you're more tired, and it's fine that you're being brief, I never expect a certain amount of writing from ya. Thank you for being so sweet and caring and yourself as well! Have some nice dreams and get some good sleep! Stay happy and healthy! <3
ReplyHey girl, how are you doing today? I hope its a good day for you. I'm better today. I toned my hair (not bleach), so the roots don't look bad anymore. The reason I prefer my hair lighter, is it's growing in a dirty dishwater blonde, which looks fine on my brothers, but not me lol. No more bleaching though. I'll go darker. Btw, do you have siblings? I don't know if I'm being too nosey asking what is helping your self image issues. Mine only got better with age, which is counterintuitive lol.
Are you doing anything fun today? That's fun, that you were with friends, doing the farm work. I crave being outside. Maybe it wasn't so fun for you, but I'm imagining it as fun, bc it was outside lol.
I couldn't get on this site today for about 2-3 hours. Does that ever happen to you? It seems to go down a few times a day for 30-60 minutes (guessing). Today feels better, yay! And I'm glad to hear from you and all your positivity. I hope you're feeling happy and well and having a lovely day. Talk soon!
ReplyI'm so glad that you're doing better! I'm fairly good myself. I'm glad you got to do something with your hair. I get what you mean about wanting to change it. Mines a similar color and I just dye the bottom half of it to make it look a bit better. I have 1 older brother. And you're not being too nosey lol. You can ask away. I guess I'm trying to think about my image less or I'm trying to tell myself I look fine until I start to believe it. And changing my thought process and seeing how other people view themselves.
Nothing really fun today other than seei ng a movie. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad by talking about going outdoirs... would you prefer if I didnt talk about it? I wasnt sure if it would make you sad with me bringing it up but I feel bad asking as well.
I'm not sure if the site goes down for me. I can usually access it but sometimes it logs me out (I use it on my phone a lot). I'm so glad that today is better for you! I am also happy to hear from you! It really brightens my day to talk with you. Stay safe and healthy!! And I hope you stay happy! <3
ReplyI totally LOVED hearing about your farm work. I love hearing that stuff. I don't feel badly about that stuff anymore (I might want to walk more though). You have an amazing trait of being sensitive to other's feelings. I wish your friend's knew how lucky they are.
I'm happy to hear you're doing good. I am too. So you're the youngest! Are you close to your brother? I'm the oldest and wish I was closer to my brothers, but one quit speaking to me (and my sister, who died) for reasons no one knows, and the other one is SO busy. They both live 2 miles away.
A movie sounds fun and I hope you really enjoyed it. Changing your thought process and self-talk is such a good idea and I'm glad it's working for you. It seems like most women are usually down on themselves and men seem to love themselves and think they look great (in my experience). I wonder why it's that way. I wonder what it's like to be a male and love the way you look Lol.
I hope you're enjoying your evening and that you have a good night's sleep and pleasant dreams
ReplyI'm glad you enjoyed my talk about my day! Even if you are motivated to walk more please dont strain yourself! I would hate for you to get hurt. Yes, I am sadly the youngest lol. Not by much though, only like a year and a half. I would have to say I'm semi close with my brother. We get along sometimes and fight others, but he usually talks with his peers rather than speaking with me. I'm ok with it and I tend to keep to myself as well. I think we are decently close though. I'm sorry to hear that you arent too close with your siblings. And I'm especially sorry about your sister.
Thank you for the compliment about me being sensitive, I tend to worry about others a lot and their feelings. I'm very happy to hear that you are well! I hope that continues for a while.
I did enjoy the movie! And yeah I've been trying to get into a better mindset and im finally making progress. I think what you said about gender effecting self image is totally true and I notice it too. I'm sure it has something to due with the biological differences. Maybe I should look into it lol. I wish I knew what it was like to be the confident in myself lol.
(Sorry this reply isnt as organized as it usually it)
I've had a nice evening. And I am hoping to get good sleep, although I doubt I will get too much. But that's ok, I dont sleep much overall. I wish you wonderful dreams as well! Stay safe and I hope your happiness continues!🌹
ReplyHow are you doing today? I hope its another good day for you. I'm really glad you enjoyed the movie. I'm pretty good, but feeling a lot of anxiety because of kids screaming/yelling outside. I live amongst a lot of young families.
Well dang, are you a bad sleeper too? Or maybe you just don't like to sleep. I've been a bad sleeper forever. I take sleep aids, or I'd never sleep. I hope you get enough sleep. Sleep is awesome.
That's wonderful that you and your brother are sort of close, and close in age. I'm glad you had each other while growing up. I don't know why my brother won't speak. He's gay and I've always fully accepted him and love him no matter what, but one day, he quit talking to me after a small argument, but sadly, he's a grudge holder.
I wonder if the gender biological differences in confidence and self image are in the brain. I've know plenty of guys who weren't so attractive, who thought the world of themselves lol. Yes, I'm always going to wonder what that's like. I've always been shy and not very confident. My most recent boyfriend was so confident. I never heard him say anything negative about himself and we were together for years.
You can be as unorganized as you want and you WEREN'T unorganized lol. I feel like I'm talking about myself so much, so talk about yourself now. Enough about me lol. More about you. I hope your day is wonderful and that you feel happy.🌼🌼🌼🌼
ReplyI'm doing pretty good again! My friend gave me old clothing of hers since I dont shop much and she didnt want it so I'm a pretty happy camper lol. I'm sorry to hear about the nearby families triggering your anxiety :( I hope it gets better.
I'm a bit of a bad sleeper and usually I take melatonin for it but I havent recently becuase I sort of stopped needing or caring about getting a lot of sleep. I sleep a random amount I guess but I'll be fine no matter what. I like sleep a lot because it's like a getaway and it means I dont have to deal with real life things lol. Sorey to hear you have a hard time with sleep. It is pretty awesome.
I'm sorry to hear about you and your brother not speaking. I'm wonder what caused him to stop talking. I think its kind that you support him though. It's sad that a small argument lead to that.
I think here would be chemical differences that could cause it. I know it is mainly a result of societies standards for women over the years. I've studied it before. It's horrible what standards have been set in the past and in different cultures. I feel so bad for those women. But anyway as a result women are constantly pressured to look a certain way since that's the way it always has been while men can be however they want. It's sad. I get what you mean about your boyfriend having overbearing confidence. I've never dated but I can see it in other people around me.
Thanks for the nice words. Go ahead and talk away. You can share as much as you would like. I would listen for hours. I am having a nice day and I'm pretty happy. I hope you are doing amazing and that you feel even better <3 🌺🌺🌺
ReplyYou are so right. Women are expected to look a certain way (and act), plus men expect women to look a certain way. Its really awful, the standard that have been set and it's unreachable. It must have been really interesting, studying that. I'd like to study that someday. Media is really full of programming. They have the most perfect people from society (and touch them up) and we're expected to look like them. My perspective changed a lot, becoming born again, as I came to realize it's not important at all, what society expects us to look like, though I believe in taking care of ourselves.
That's awesome that you got clothes from your friend. Its always fun to get clothes. I'm excited for you. I don't shop at all anymore, but someone in my sister-in-law's church gives her bags and bags of clothes because of her size, and she passes them to me, bc we're similar in size. It's fun, but I send most to charity. I don't need all that.
Sorry about your sleep issues, but it sounds like it's a non-issue, happily for you. I'm glad you've made peace with it. I like sleep for the same reason. It's an escape from the day. Today was kind of rough, because the noise barely quit all day and I was rattled (but had self control lol), but it's finally quiet and the weekend is over, yay.
Gosh, I didn't mean to write so much lol. It just happens, even when I don't have anything to say. I hope your evening is awesome and that you're feeling happy. Thanks for being such a kind, sweet person. Cheers and talk soon.💙
ReplyYeah I really wish we didnt have all the standards set that we do. Although wishi ng for them all to suddenly go away is a bit much. It saddens me to think what people do just to chase that impossible image. I know I tend to have problems with eating becuase I'm worried about calories or if its health enough or how it will effect my weight. Not fun. It isnt even that bad for me so I can only imagine what it's like for others, and that makes me so sad. Sorey for rambling about myself there. I'm glad to hear that findi ng God has helped you! And you're totally right, being healthy is much more important than appearance.
I was happy to get the clothes even though there weren't too many. I have trouble shopping since I get very nervous and frwka myself out. It isnt fun but since I dislike my appearance and size I have a hard time getting anything, so usually I wear the same outfit or similar outfits. (Jean's and a hoodie lol. My friends used to tease me about it. But I'm getting better at wearing shorts. ) I think it's very kind of you to pass the clothing into those who are in need. I tend to do the same, since usually I dont wear much of a variety of clothes. Sorry for going on about myself again...
Dont be sorry about my sleep problems. Most are self inflicted I guess. Sleep is a nice escape. I'm sorry to hear that today wasnt the best. The continuous noise but be very irritating so I'm sorry that you deal with that. Although I'm glad you have gotten a hold of your outburst that used to result from it. I'm glad you finally have peace now that the weekend is over and I hope it gets better.
You are welcome to write as much as you want, dont ever worry about it. I think it's nice that you can talk even without havi ng new news. I'm having a pretty peaceful evening. I hope yours is better. I hope that you're having a wonderful and calm night where you can just be happy. I should thank you. You are very sweet and I am honored to have the chance to talk with you like this. Have a wonderful evening 💜
ReplyHow are you doing today, luv? I hope you're feeling great and having a nice day. My evening was so nice and today is much quieter, yay. I'm glad you had a peaceful night, assuming that's a good thing. I love peace.
You HARDLY rambled about yourself and I would love it if you did. I hear you, about food and calories and I'm sorry you worry so much, which I completely relate to. Even though I've never really had a weight problem, I've ALWAYS had a weight problem and have always worried about calories and have had some sort of eating disorder forever, though not anorexia or bulimia, but my own concoction.
We have a lot in common in this area. Shopping freaks me out too. Even though logically I know I'm not heavy, I often see myself as heavy...definitely body dysmorphia. Maybe you have it too. I think it's really common (maybe?) I used to love shopping with my mom, and we would shop ALL DAY LONG, but suddenly I felt it was such a useless waste of time and materialistic and so much more. And I'm like you, in that I tend to wear the same clothes. All I wear is shorts lol. It's not pretty though, bc of knee operations, and my knees are sensitive to anything touching them.
You are such a sweetheart. I'm honored to talk to you like this. It's rare to find someone so kind and sensitive. I hope this doesn't sound discombobulated. That's how my brain feels right now, Lol. I hope you have the nicest day. Take care!
ReplyI'm ok today. Not as good as I have been but I'm not the worst. I'm sorta worried that I might go back to being negative so I'm trying to fight that off. I'm so glad that you had a nice evening and a quiet day. That sounds so much better compared to what you described. My night was peaceful, I also enjoy peace.
I'm sorry to hear that you also have weight problems or that you view yourself that way. I know that I'm a tad heavy even though it's not bad... I think I may make it seem worse but I wouldnt know since my opinion is obviously biased and I dont really trust when others tell me otherwise. I'm sure you are beautiful and I'm sorry to hear that you've had experience with froms of eating disorders.
It's nice that you understand becuase a lot of my friends dont. They're pretty self confident and dont have image problems. They're all a lot more pretty and thinner than I am. I am not sure about the dysmorphia... although it is possible. I'm sorry to hear that your opinion on shopping changed like that but I get it. I stress about monetary issues and things like that. I'm sorry to hear about your operations and I hope theyve gone well. Sorey to hear they're sensitive though, and I doubt that it looks bad
Thank you for the compliment. You're a sweetie too! I'm very glad to be able to talk to you. I feel the same way about it being rare to find someone who is that way, I think that's why I was so happy to meet you and I live talking with you. It doesnt sound too bad but I'm sorry you're brain feels that way. I hope it gets better. Have a wonderful day! Stay safe! 🌻🌻
ReplyI'm really sorry you're not feeling as good as you were. I hope you're back to good soon. Did something trigger you? I told you what triggers me (emotions, exertion, stress, stimulation), which bites, because it's all part of life. Aww, I'm so sorry and feel badly for you, because happy days are so wonderful, but you know that good days will come back soon, and maybe tomorrow, hopefully. My day was kinda rough again, because of an argument with Mom, who is biggest trigger of all.
I have a feeling that you're NOT a tad heavy at all, and even if you are, I think women with curves are beautiful. Maybe you're just normal. I think my dysmorphia may have come as a result of Mom, who is 5'2" and I'm close to 5'9" and I always felt so tall next to her, and my friends are shorter too. Or I'm just mental (having dysmorphia) lol. I don't really think too much about weight anymore, Maybe bc I'm always home and don't watch TV and my weight seems stable. I feel badly that you feel your friends look better. I have a strong feeling, that if you could see yourself objectively, you wouldn't feel that way at all.
I just got tired of shopping, as it felt so empty to me, like we were trying to fill time. Mom still shops all the time and is always buying new clothes. It's like an addiction to her. I just don't really care about clothes, except that I have my faves and that they're comfortable, and look okay.
Maybe, hopefully you're feeling better by now. You deserve it. I wonder why we're all so up and down. I wish we could all be even keel all the time. I look forward someday, to not being trapped in these bodies full of emotion. I hope you're feeling better and that your evening is nice and peaceful. Thanks for being so awesome, and I really enjoy hearing from you. Have a lovely sleep and Happy dreams. 🌷🌷🌷🌷
ReplyThanks for your concern. I'm still not the best. Nothing really triggers it, or I havent been able to pinpoint what does, it just seems to happen. Sometimes I'm happy and confident but then others I feel like a burden who should disappear. I dont like it and I cant really get into it with many people, but I feel safe talking to you about it. Honestly sometimes I just feel like a great burden. Usually I get over it though... I wonder if I have some deeper issues. Sorry for goi ng off on a tangent. I'm sorry to hear you didnt have a great day. It sucks that you and your mom argued especially when she is such a big trigger. I hope you're doing better. Do you do something to calm down after something triggers you like that? I hope you dont suffer eith it or wait it out.
I really am a tad heavy, but thank you again for your kindness. I think everyone is beautiful, but somehow my brain sees me as the exception. It's like that for most things, everyone else can be so smart and beautiful to me but I'm the only one that's different according to my Brain. I dont like it but I can fix it. I'm sorry to hear that your mom may have cussed your dysmorphia. My weight is also stable, I've been the same weight since I started recording it last october.... but I'm not happy with it. The only time I saw change was when I worked out for like 2 hours all at once each day and got sick as a result. Not fun. I can sometimes see my self objectively like you said, but recently I havent been able to find that kind of positivity. Sorey I keep talking about myself
I get what you mean about shopping just being a filler. I dont like taking the time to do it. I feel the same way you di about clothes, the only ones that matter are my favorites lol. Sorry to hear your mom is a bit addicted to shopping. That doesnt sound too fun to deal with.
I'm not the best right now, but hopefully I will be soon. Talki ng like this seems to help. I also hope you are better, you deserve it as well. I wish I knew the answer to being up and down all the time. I wish for you to escape the emotional prison you seem to be trapped in and I will help you the best I can to reach happiness. Someday maybe my feelings will become stable. Until then heres to hoping. I'm still a bit down, but I'm trying to find distractions. I live in a small town but it's hard to see the sky sometimes, plus it was cloudy, but iw as able to find some constellations which made me happy if only for a moment. What do you think about stars or planets? Do you have a favorite constellation? Its fine if you dont. Thank you for the encouragement and kindness. You are spectacular. I'm so glad to hear from you as well. I hope you rest well and have wonderful dreams. Have a nice and peaceful night. 🌙⭐
ReplySorry I talked about myself so much.
ReplyYou did NOT! Believe me! <3
ReplyYou HARDLY went on a tangent (shortest tangent EVER). I'm so very sorry that you feel like a burden. I don't know how someone as sweet as you could ever feel like a burden, except that you're so sensitive. Do you feel like a burden to someone in particular? I've heard that every trauma we've had, that's unresolved, is affecting us now, as if it was still happening now, so we're still carrying the weight of it with us. I used EFT (emotional freedom technique) to resolve a lot of trauma, but I hardly mention it to people, because it took a lot for me to get a good understanding of how it works (tangent!).
I know I should be validating your feelings, but how can I? I'll try: "So you feel like a burden?" That's all I can do. You couldn't possibly be a burden. And you should NEVER ever disappear. You're one of the most amazing, kind, and considerate people I've met, and I've met a lot of people.
I think we have the same brain lol. I think the same way. I think of everyone as beautiful, but have a hard time seeing it in myself. And like you, I see myself as different. I don't feel I've ever really seen someone that I'd consider ugly.
My emotional prison isn't awful. I'm lucky to have an upbeat mood quite often, but I do get emotional. Nights are usually good and I look forward to them. I don't really know constellations, but I do love the moon and stars. I know the big dipper lol.
Oh gosh, I SO want you to feel better and to not feel like a burden and like disappearing. I hope you're better by morning, but if not, you'll be better soon. Just remember you're really awesome and amazing. I hope you can really KNOW that right now. I hope you have a good night and awaken feeling better. I'm sending you a big hug. Take care sweetie.
Reply(hi! i am sorry if this sounds bad or if i miss something. i was almost done writing when the page reloaded so i had to start over. then when i was rewriting it... it happened again. So i'm trying to remember everything i wrote. ok sorry)
I wouldn't worry about me feeling like a burden. its only sometimes. thank you for the kind words. I am pretty sensitive so i think that all of the negative things tend to build up and distort my way of thinking. its not one specific. a group of people would be more accurate, or sometimes everyone. i think one thing that causes it is people yelling at me for negative reasons. it just makes me realize how annoying and frustrating i am. what you said about unresolved trauma is true. I don't think mine is too extreme though. others have it worse is what i'm told so i think i may just over exaggerate it. EFT sounds interesting and i will have to look into it.I don't have a good vent right now other than the occasional talk with people.
you don't have to validate my feelings. especially if you don't believe them or if they are negative. deep down i believe you and i know what you're saying s true, but sometimes my emotions get the best of ,me. i think i have two mindsets, emotional and logical. my logical side knows what is really true, but my emotional side is a different story. and usually my emotional side overlaps my logical thinking so i cant see things as they are. i should learn to get it under control. i know i shouldn't disappear. i think i was being overdramatic, or sometimes i get that way and think like that. but i wont disappear because i know there is so much that can happen that i should stick around to see it. i think its more of i want to get out of my mind sometimes or escape people or situations. thank you for the kind words again. i feel the same way about you. you are so caring and passionate and kind and helpful. i am so thankful that you exist. so thank you.
i think so lol. i'm sorry you think the same way. i know it isn't fun. i'm glad you view others as beautiful rather than putting them down since everyone is their own kind of beautiful and has their own appeal, but i'm sorry you have a hard time seeing it in yourself. is there anything i can do to help? i think you would be gorgeous. i know your personality is.
sorry for being overdramatic about emotions. i'm glad you tend to be positive, and being emotional can be a pain but im glad you seem to get through it. if you ever need or want help you can ask. nights are the best and i also look forward to them. they're so peaceful and it makes me happy. sorry for going on a tangent about stars. lol. the moon and stars are very pretty/ lol i actually found the big dipper last night! i was so happy. i love looking at the stars becuase someone somewhere is looking at the same sky and i think it connects me to others in a weird way.
i am doing a bit better this morning. talking it out a bit helped. thank you for the kindness you have given me. im in a mid point right now. not too positive or too negative. so i guess that's positive. sorry for so much talk about myself. feel free to talk about yourself lol. i had a good night and i did wake up feeling a bit better. thank you for the hug! i love hugs but i rarely get them lol. i'm sending one back! have a nice day/night. i hope you're well! <3
ReplyThat's so frustrating when it reloads, right? I started writing on Word Pad and then copy and paste, but I know you use a phone. Sorry you lost it. It's super frustrating.
You never have to apologize for talking about yourself. I love when you do and it seems so rare, so do it a lot! I'm glad you're feeling a little better and I pray it keeps getting better.
I do feel bad that you would ever feel like a burden and I'm so sorry that anyone yells at you and makes you feel annoying and frustrating. I hope you know that if someone yells at you, it's because of them and their issues and not about you, but it's so hard to NOT take it personally. It's so wrong, because we're always getting the brunt of other's issues, when it's not about us. So they're not REALLY annoyed and frustrated at you, but at something in themselves. This is what I learned in therapy. So you're NOT annoying and frustrating. I just know it.
I do understand your being sensitive to everything anyone says. I'm the same and it does build up. I'm sorry you're that way too, as I know how painful it can be. OH GOSH! I wish we didn't have to be sensitive! And I totally get it. My emotional side overlaps the logical all the time too. I'm really sorry that you process that way too.
I don't think you're being overdramatic at all. I heard from a wise person that no one is ever overdramatic. It's what's going on inside and needs to be expressed. And you can never go on too big of a tangent about the sky. I'm a huge fan of the sky and love talking about it and looking at it. Awesome that you found the big dipper and it made you happy. The sky makes me happy too. I see what you mean... that looking at the night sky, moon and stars connect us with others. It's so true and I know that God is up there somewhere (way up there lol).
Thanks for trusting me with your feelings. You're such a kind sensitive person, who never deserves to be yelled at. I'm so glad I met you, and truly enjoy knowing you. I hope your day is amazing, just as you are. You're in my prayers. Take care, luv.
ReplyIt is VERY frusterating lol. Yeah I switched to my computer out of frustration but now I'm just being cautious.
I'm glad you think it's ok for me to talk about myself. That seems rare now lol. Feel free to talk about yourself as well! Yeah I'm doing better now. I saw a movie (toy story 4)
Dont worry about it. Honestly it comes and goes and I'm pretty used to it. Yeah sometimes I think it is becuase of what they have going on, and if that's the case I hope they find a better way to vent their frustration so others arent hurt. It is frusterating when others lash out. Although I think I may be guilty of it occasionally so I feel bad about it. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. I'll try to remind myself that.
I'm sorry to hear that you're also sensitive. It isnt fun and I'm sorry you go through that. I'm sorry to hear that you have similar issues as me. J wouldnt wish it upon anyone, especially someone as kind as you. And I'm so sorry you have the same mindset.
I think that wise person may be right. I guess you never knwo what issues others have or how extreme yours truly are so it is hard to judge yourself without bias. I thi nk that it's how we receive our situations as well. Yes the sky! Ots so beautiful. It's something that connects all of us In my opinion and it's so cool to think about all the people who are looking at the same sky. Yeah I was ecstatic to find constellations. Light pollution makes it hard but I still manage. Again I live being connected to others with the same love of the sky. And yeah it's so interesting to think that somewhere miles up there is God.
I would trust you with a lot honestly it's so nice to talk with you. I think sometimes I deserve to get yelled at but maybe not as much as I do. I feel ubexplainably happy to have met you and be able to share my thoughts and feelings. You are a magnificent person. I also hope you have an amazing day!! You're in mine as well. (Random but do you have a favorite color?) Stay safe! <3
ReplyAwesome, that you saw a movie. I hope you enjoyed it. Movies can take me out of a funk sometimes, especially chic-flicks. Wow, I'm going to look for a chic-flick. I'm so used to listening to sermons and Christian YouTube, I kinda freaked last time I watched a movie. It was called Book Club and I couldn't finish it, cuz it was old women discussing 50 Shades and my Christian-girl ears couldn't handle it lol. I felt too embarrassed, though I was alone at home.
You're so right! I wouldn't wish sensitivity on anyone. I feel for both of us. It makes life way more difficult. I wonder if we're born that way. Lyme disease makes it all more intense, as far as noise, smells, light, clutter and chaos.
I'm really glad when you talk about yourself and I'm glad you're doing better. When Mom yells at me, logically I know it's because of her own stuff, but it's still upsetting. So I understand that it's hard for you too, to control how you feel when you get yelled at. I'm so sorry you even get yelled at.
Sky lovers, like us should totally be astronomers. That's wonderful, that finding constellations makes you ecstatic. Your user name totally makes sense for you. You picked a good one. I love looking at the mountains at night too. I love their silhouette. They're so beautiful at night. I just went on a walk tonight and no stars, just clouds, but they're pretty too. I love it too, that we're connected to so many people, who are also looking at the same night sky from allover. It's awesome.
I think you're such a joy to hear from. Sometimes I swear you're an angel. You're so refreshing and a breath of fresh air. I think my favorite color is yellow, but it changes. What is yours? Have a wonderful evening. Talk soon <3
ReplyI did enjoy the movie. It helped cheer me up and distract me if only for a couple of hours. I'm not sure that I've seen many chic flicks. Maybe I should look into some more sometime. I'm sorry to hear about your previous experience with watching a movie. I get what you mean. And that second hand embarrassment is a horrible feeli ng.
Yeah sensitivity makes things a lot harder. I think that being born with it is possible or maybe our environments effect us and change us to be that way. I'm sorry to hear the Lyme enhances that. I hope that even when it gets intense it gets better quickly and I'm sorry you deal with that.
Yeah I was a bit sad earlier but I'm sort of out of it now. I'm glad you think it's nice when I talk about myself. I'm sorry to hear about your mom yelling st you and I hope it's not too often. I hope she can resolve whatever issu es she has and I hope it doesn't effect you too severely. Yeah I respond very badly to negativity. Not that surprising. I'm also sorry that you get yelled at.
I have considered going into astronomy. I enjoy studying it since I've had experience in it. Yeah I was able to see more stars tonight since the clouds cleared up, but I didnt look for anything. I sort of regret it. I'm glad you think my username suits me. I wanted something that dealt with the galaxy and I'm pretty happy with it. I've loved space and the sky since I was very young and it's something that has stuck with me. I dont have mountains near me but that sounds breathtaking. I've traveled and been near mountains and I enjoyed the views they provided so it must be great to live near them. Yeah, I like thinking about other people. Although sometimes it causes me to spiral. Theres just so many lives being lived at the same time.
I'm glad you think that of me. You're also a joy to hear from and it makes me so happy to talk with you. I think calling me an angel would put me on too high of a pedestal, but thank you. I think you may be my guardian angel. You're such a welcome change from what's normal for me. It's like I was stuck in a desert and you brought me water. Right now I think my favorite color, or lack thereof, would be black or grey. I guess red too. I think darker colors appeal to be since its easier on my eyes, although I do also enjoy bright colors. Have a fantastic evening! I hope you have a good night and sweet dreams. <3 🌼🌼
ReplyHow are you doing today? I'm sorry you were feeling sad yesterday. I'm glad you got feeling better, and that you enjoyed the movie. I'm having a migraine, but it's nothing new. You might really hate chic-flicks. They can be cheesy, but they usually cheer me up.
Astronomy might be really fun. I wonder if you've ever heard this...that many people think the moon is fake (people in "new age" spirituality) . This is craaaaazy! I was involved in new age spirituality, before becoming a Christian and I honestly believed the moon was fake (I can't stop laughing right now). I'm so happy that I believe it's REAL again. I know it is, because God created it. The "new agers" believe the moon is a giant hollowed out spaceship LOL. I'm laughing so hard. I'm just so glad I can enjoy the moon again. I think it would be amazing if you became an astronomer or something related.
The mountains here are really breathtaking. Its a valley surrounded by huge mountains and I used to hike them like crazy. I've lived where there are no mountains too, and it's cool in a different way. I like both, but prefer the ocean most of all.
I like grey and black too. I wear a lot of grey for some reason, maybe because it's calming. I don't even wear yellow. It is too bright, but as a color, it's cheerful.
You're such a sweetheart, and you say the kindest things. You put me too high on a pedestal, where I don't deserve to be lol. I think you're really amazing and I truly enjoy hearing from you. And I love when you talk about yourself. I hope your day is going well, and that you're feeling happy.💙
ReplyI'm better today. Was pretty busy for a bit working on the farm again. But I'm better now. Yeah I got myself to relax a bit and calmed down since I wasnt thinking as much. I'm sorry that you have a migraine. Even if it's normal for you I'm sorry that you have one. I doubt I would hate chic flicks. I think I enjoy most movies. I'm glad that they tend to cheer you up! It's nice to find soemthign like that.
I think astronomy is fun. I did some work on it before and enjoyed it. One of my teachers had had connections with NASA so we got to do some projects with them which was fun. We also looked at the income rates of astronomers and its surprisingly high. Sorey for getting a bit into my past there lol. I do want to major in aerospace engineering with a minor in astronomy and astrophysics. I have heard about that XD. all those conspiracy theories are so weird to me. The teacher mentioned before was very adamant to us not to believe in those things. I didnt know it was related to "new age" spirituality. I'm glad you believe in the moon now lol. I dont get how those theories get started but it honestly confuses me. That and the stuff about the moon landing. And the flat earth theories. But you can believe what you want. I would love a chance to be in that field again. When I studied it before I had so much fun despite being told the work wouldnt be enjoyable since it was tedious and boring.
They sound amazing. I've never really been able to enjoy them like that since I live on fairly flat land. Although when I travel to Maryland I can help but gasp at their beauty. I think it's so cool that you have those different experiences! Living near the ocean does sound like the best.
Yeah a lot of the things I wear are monochromatic or darker shades. It is pretty calming. I have a friend who wears yellow and her personality matches the color lol. (I tend to associate people with colors) I like it too becuase of the positivity it provides.
Thank you again. I think you deserve to be on a high pedestal. You are truly amazing.
I'm so glad to hear from you as well and I also like when you talk about yourself. I hope you are having a good say and that your migraine clears up. Stay safe! 💜
ReplyI'm glad to hear you're doing better and you got to work on the farm. I hope you enjoyed it. Can I ask what kind of farm it is? I love that you spoke about your past, and do it more. How wonderful that you got to do projects with NASA. That's a big deal. Sorry I don't respond quickly, like you do. I get a lot of brain-fog, and just dealing with symptoms. So I'm a slow responder. I think I walked too far last night and paying for it today. But it was fun at the time.
Wow, you must be a brainiac to have such aspirations...aerospace engineering, Astronomy and astrophysics. It's awesome that you know what you want, and what makes you happy. You're way ahead, if you know. So many of us have trouble figuring it out. Plus it's much easier to study things you're interested in.. My ex was a mechanical engineer and a literal genius. Such an amazing brain.
I guess new age is only one part of it. You got it right...it's conspiracy theory people. People who are really into UFOs and aliens and all the other conspiracy theories. I'm still trying to unlearn so much of it. I was in a group and we talked about that stuff all the time. That group thought Christians were stupid and naïve, and I felt the same way. It's amazing that I am one now. I just didn't understand what I was criticizing.
I've lived near the ocean a few times and each time, it gave me such a high. I worked in Alaska for a summer, on the ocean and it was the most amazing experience. I love the smell of the ocean, and there's just something about the atmosphere that's really beautiful in every way.
How is your evening going? I hope you're having a good one. Thanks again for being so kind. I think you're wonderful and I hope your evening is wonder-filled and peaceful.⭐🌙⭐🌙⭐
ReplyYeah I'm pretty good right now. I think as long as I dont think about the things that bug me I'm fine. The farm has a lot of different crops like strawberries, raspberries, peas... that kinda thing. Apparently they also keep bees for honey but I havent seen them. Its just a family farm lol. Yeah the projects were really so much fun to do and I think it may have furthered my interests in that field. Dont worry about responding quickly. Honestly I just get lucky and happen to check the app soon after you reply. Please dont feel obligated to respond quickly though, and sometimes I take a bit. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a clouded head feeling. And dont worry about it, and I hope the symptoms dont affect you too extremely. But again dont worry. I'm sory to hear that you're tired from you walk but I'm glad you enjoyed it in the moment.
I wouldnt call myself a brainiac, and sorry for nerding out a bit there lol. I'm not sure how hard or easy it will be for me but I'm gonna try it since I think I would like it. Yeah it was hard to decide what I wanted to do and I'm still kinda confused about what I want to do but I think the more I talk it out with people the more confident I get with it. Yeah, I hope everyone can one day find something to pursue that they are passionate about. It's so nice to put your best towards somethi ng you enjoy. Mechanical engineering sounds like such an interesting field! And I think that everyone has their own complex and interesting brain too.
Yeah it sounds pretty interesting. I guess people can believe whatever they want but some of it confuses me. I can understand and get into some conspiracy theories but ones about the moon and other things just confuse me. I wish you luck on your path. Sounds like an interesting group and I'm glad you found people to share your beliefs with at the time even if you dislike it looking back. Yeah what a turn around! Goi ng from finding certain people foolish to becoming one. Yeah it sounds like you have a much better understanding now.
Living near the ocean sounds magnificent! Working in Alaska must've been fun! Do you kind me asking what kind of work you did? It sounds amazing and I'm glad you got that opportunity. Yeah the smell of the ocean and the breeze is amazing. I love coastal cities, they're so unique and have such a secluded yet open air about them.
I'm having a pretty good evening. How about you? I hope you're well both emotionally and physically. I love being this kind but thank you for the gratitude. I'm glad that you are extremely sweet and nice towards me (and other people I assume). I also thinky our wonderful! I hope you have an amazing and calm evening! Get some good sleep and I wish you good dreams whenever you fall asleep. Stay safe! <3 🌙⭐🌙⭐🌙
ReplyYou don't have to apologize for nerding out lol. I loved it. Do it more :) I thing it's awesome. Wow, you really do need to do aerospace engineering. If you think mechanical engineering sounds interesting, you have to be an engineer. I always wondered what my ex saw in it. He knows physics really well though, and I loved when he talked about it. Physics is really fascinating. I'm so happy for you, that you got to do those projects. It's amazing that you may have found your future because of it. It sounds like fate (unless you change your mind lol). Have you seen Hidden Figures about some black women mathematicians working at NASA (I think one was an engineer). If not, you have to see it. It was SUCH a good movie.
It was a fun group, and I loved the people and felt close to them, but I was feeling a pull to get out of it. Maybe it was even a cult. Weird things were happening (supernatural things) and a lot of us got freaked out and left. But I'm still in contact with a few.
I loved Alaska SO much. I did massage therapy there. I worked for a lady that owned cabins and a bed & breakfast. I lived in one of the cabins near the ocean. It was a lot of work getting there, bc I decided to take a bike instead of my car, and I had to haul my massage table and bike on a plane, along with suitcases. But I loved having my bike there and riding along the ocean. Plus it stayed light all night long. I was really high on life there.
You're such a delightful person and It's so nice talking to you. I'm so glad your evening is good. Mine isn't horrible lol (that's as positive as I could be lol) yay, but I can laugh about it. Have a lovely rest of the night and sweet dreams!
ReplyYeah I tend to go off on tangents about things like that lol. Yeah a good deal of people I know and am related to are in or plan to go into engineering fields so I'm sorta going along with that. Yeah physics is a lot of fun to me as well. I live when people talk about what they're passionate about or something that they enjoy becuase it's sort of contagious and allows you to see what they're like. Yeah they were a lot of fun lol. I think it may be fate becuase it's something I've liked for all of my life I just couldnt put a name to it until recently. I have seen a little bit of hidden figures. I started watching it with some friends and we just never finished it. I'll have to watch it all when I get the chance lol. I've heard great things about it and I know the premise. (Yes one was an engineer lol) again I'll have to finish it lol, thanks for the recommendation.
I'm glad you had fun with the group and were able to get close to other people in it who shared similar thoughts with you at the time. I'm glad you followed your gut and got out of it since it doesnt sound like it wouldve been fun to stay in it. I'm sorry you guys started to get freaked out but I think its nice that you still contact a few of the people.
Yeah living in Alaska sounds amazing! Massage therapy sounds like an interesting career and I hope you enjoyed it! I'm sorry that it was a lot of work to get there but It sounds like it was worth it in the end. I think that it would be great to live there since it's never really too dark so you can stay up and still have light. I'm glad you were high on life and I hope you can find somethi ng that makes you feel that way nowadays.
Thank you for the kindness! You're magnificent as well and its wonderful talking to you. I'm sorry that you cant be too positive about your evening. (Do you want to talk about it?) I hope it gets better and in glas you can laugh at it. I hope you get some good rest too and have wonderful dreams! 🌺🌺
ReplyHow is your day going, luv? I hope it's a good one and that you're feeling happy. The farm sounds just as I pictured it, with fruit. Then I wondered if I had it wrong, and it was milking cows lol. That might not be fun. Working in Alaska was the time of my life (one of them).
It's exciting that you're so passionate about astronomy, physics and engineering. Being passionate about something makes life more exciting, interesting and stimulates curiosity. I love that feeling of curiosity and wonder. I hope you follow your passion. My ex (the engineer) had two main jobs while we were together. One was a Ford Motor in Cincinnati and it was a really good high paying job, but he was working nearly 80 hours a week. Then we moved to Oregon and he worked at Hewlett Packard. The job was really stressful on him. They were always expected to do presentations and he's REALLY confident. That would completely stress me out. Aerospace engineering is probably much different. But you have family and people who are engineers, so I'm sure you have a good idea about it.
I'm going through quite a flare-up and I'm not sure if my brain can crank out much today lol. It could last a week, more or less. I truly hope your day is good and that you're enjoying it. Thanks for being such a sweetheart. You have such a nice vibe and I think you're a rare, amazing person. Take care, luv.
ReplyMy day is a bit uncomfortable. I'm sunburnt and I did more work. Plus dehydration gives me a headache. But other than that I'm fine. Cant complain too much. Yeah in pretty glad that we arent milking cows although tending to animals may be easier than the plants lol. I'm so glad that Alaska was so enjoyable for you. I hope you have more moments like that. You deserve it.
Yeah! Passion is amazing and it's so motivating. I also love the feeling or curiosity, and that feeling of figuring something out is extraordinary. I hope I follow through with it as well since I do feel a lot of passion. I'm sorry to hear that he worked himself so much. It sounds exhausting. I hope he is better now then. Yeah presentations stress me out. I'm hoping I wont have to do many or that they will be to a smaller group of people. I get nervous about that sorta thing and start to speak fast and skip over points. Yeah its really nest since a lot of my family wants to go to different fields of engineering so it's fun seeing where they all go. Although one is an aerospace engineer and I wish I could talk with him more but hes studying on the other side if the country.
I'm sorry to hear that you are unwell! Dont worry about writing and please take care of yourself and take it easy! I hope you get better soon as well. Again I'm pretty good, but I really hope you get better soon! No need to thank me, thank you for bei ng so nice to me. You help me calm down and feel happier so thank you! I'm honored to be called rare, I think you are one in a billion. I have met no one like you So I am very grateful for you. I hope you get better! Stay safe and take care of yourself ! 💙💜💙💜💙 <3
ReplyAlso, I was looking for a book to read and found one called "Girl, Interrupted" By Suzanne Kaysen and I was wondering if your username was inspired by it or if it's a coincidence and I'm looking to far into it. I hope you feel better! <3
ReplySO sorry about your sunburn and headache. They are both very uncomfortable! I hope they heal quickly. It must be hard work, being out in the sun like that. Speaking of Alaska, I've had a lot of amazing experiences like that, as I've always loved variety, and moving around, and exploring different places. I might be done with exploring, unless I get a healing miracle. I've actually made peace with it, and it's okay. Mom has a seasonal home in Nevada (near Vegas) where I could move for variety, but I haven't found the energy lately. Maybe in the winter.
People like you, with engineering brains, blow my mind. I'm not very left brained lol. You seem pretty balanced. Speaking of engineering, I had a friend who got a civil engineering degree and was a city engineer. She only went into civil engineering for the money, not passion. She hated it, so she quit and now works an unskilled labor factory job, but makes more money (because it's Budweiser), but hates it too. I'm so glad you understand the importance of going after your passion, so that won't happen to you. It happens to so many people. I feel for people who hate their careers, bc it's so hard to change, when one has a family and/or mortgage.
I didn't know about the Girl Interrupted book. There was a movie by that name in the 90s with Angelina Jolie, winona ryder and Brittney Murphey. It was basically in a psych hospital lol.
I'm happy to hear you're doing pretty good. I'm better than earlier, yay. You always say the nicest things, and it melts my heart. You're such a sweetie. It's an honor to talk to you and hear about your life. I hope your evening is peaceful and happy. Sweet Dreams and talk soon 💙💚💙💚💙
ReplyDont worry about me lol, I'll be fine. I got some whole and it's doing better. Yeah I would prefer to do something else but I'm taking whatever opportunities I can get. I'm glad to hear that you've had a lot of good experiences like alaska!! I enjoy travel too and I'm glad that you pursued something you found enjoyable by going indifferent places. I'm sorry you had to stop and honestly I do wish that you get a healing miracle. You deserve it. I am glad that you've made peace with it though. It's nice that you have another option for somewhere to go if you want change, but in sorry to hear that you dont have much energy.
I never really thought I was too logical but I guess I can be sometimes lol. Thank you. for the compliment. Civil engineering sounds so intriguing! I'm sorry that she chose money over passion although I can understand that choice considering the state of the world. It saddens me that she didnt really enjoy any jobs as a result and I hope she has something else outside of work that she enjoys just so she isnt bored all the time. I feel so sad when people are stuck in a job they dont enjoy becuase it's just like what you said, it's hard to get out of it. Yeah finances are frusterating, it would be easier to pursue ones passion if there weren't so many expenses to take care of.
Based on the short description I read about the book I think the movie may be based on it. I'll have to check both out. Considering those actresses I think it would be pretty interesting.
I'm so glad that you are doing better!! In glad that my words have a positive impact on you and I truly mean them. You have a similar effect, it makes me very happy to hear form you and your conokinents really get through to me . I'm honored as well and in glad you like to hear from and about me. I hope you have an enjoyable and peaceful evening and well! Stay safe, and I hope you have good dreams! 💚💛💚💛💚
ReplyHow is your day going? I hope you're feeling good and that your sunburn is okay. It's another migraine day, so this might be short. My brain is lame lol. It really is sad, when people go into careers and jobs they dislike. It happens do often. Passion is definitely the key. You're on the right track. I'm really happy for you. If you think civil engineering sounds interesting, you really are meant to be an engineer. I'm guessing you're more logical than you think.
Girl Interrupted is a little dark, but I remember really liking it. It was eye-opening. I could relate in some weird way, and yes, the acting was great. This is going to sound nuts, but in some ways, I'm actually grateful for this illness, because otherwise I would have been too busy to find Christianity, and I'm forever grateful for it, because it's given me a much different and wonderful perspective on life. Sorry for my church-girl tangent lol.
I hope you're having a lovely day and remember sunscreen lol. Thanks for all your kind words. You really are a breath of fresh air and such a joy. Please take care of yourself and enjoy your day.🌼🌻🌼🌻🌼
ReplyI am having a very good day! I wasnt at the farm so I didnt have to get up early and I could chill out today. I'm actually on my way to see a show! (Anastasia). I'm sorry you have another migraine and I hope it gets better and clears up. I agree with what you said about the jobs. I'm glad that you're happy for me! I'm excited Too. Yeah I've been into engineering for a while and thought about going into it for a few years. I may be more logical than I think, I tend to sell myself short.
From what I heard it is pretty dark, but I am glad you enjoyed it! It sounds like it would have very good acting! I guess that does sound a bit odd, but I think it's nice you're looking at the better aspects of your situation like that. I'm glad you were able to find hope it it though! I'm very happy for you that you found something so enriching to you! And dont worry about going on a tangent, religious based or not. I totally get it. Plus it's nice to hear you talk about it since it shows how much it has helped you!
Yes I am having a great day, and I stocked up on sunscreen at the store today lolol. Thank YOU for your kind words! It's such a nice change to talk with you. Take care of yourself as well! I hope your migraine clears up and I hope your day is amazing and gets better no matter what!! 🌺🌻🌺🌻🌺
ReplyAwww, I'm so happy to hear you had such a good day, AND you got to see a show. I haven't seen that one. Is it a new one or the one from the 90s? Awesome that you got to chill out and NOT get up early. It's hard to admit that today was a tough one. I know it will get better one of these days.
I should explain that finding Christianity is the ONLY reason I'm grateful for this illness, BUT I found it already, so I now I'd love to be healed and I pray for it all the time. I got a bit angry at God today and called him a sadist lol. Thanks for being okay with my religion tangent. A lot a people get angry when someone brings up God for some reason.
My brain is still MIA, but I wanted to touch base with you. How is your evening going? I hope it's as awesome as your day and I'm glad you got sunscreen lol. And how was the movie? I hope you loved it and had a great time. Thanks for being your kind, sweet self. Take good care and have a great evening. Pleasant dreams!
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ReplyYeah it was pretty fun. First time in a while I've had that much fun honestly. I believe it is fairly nee although it is based on an older movie (it's a musical). Yeah I was very happy to get sleep. I'm sorry you had a bad day! If you want you can talk about it. I hope whatever happened gets better so you can have a better day today. It's nice that you're optimistic but I'm sorry you have to deal with tough days. You definitely dont deserve that.
I'm sorry about your illness. I feel bad that someone as kind and sweet as you would ever have to deal with that. Did something happen that made you want to call him a sadist? It's fine if you dont want to talk about it. Yeah I'm fine with whatever you talk about an your obviously passionate about your religion so I'm totally okay with you going on tangents about it. Yeah some people dont like religion or get hostile about it. I dont get why, I think whatever you believe is ok as long as you respect others beliefs. Maybe they just dont understand.
I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time. My evening went pretty well and I am also glad to have sunscreen. It was really good! Thank you for the compliment and thank YOU for being so understanding and kind. I hope you had a good evening and pleasant dreams. (I apologize for the late response) have a wonderful day! Stay safe and I hope things get better !!!
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ReplyIt's a little less good.... I spiraled a bit...
ReplyI'm so sorry you spiraled a little. I hope it wasn't too much. I'm truly happy to hear you had so much fun yesterday and your evening was nice. I hope can get some of the good vibes from yesterday, for today, and that today is another good day for you. I truly hope your spiral isn't too much. My evening was better. Evenings are often better, thankfully
Nothing really happened other than symptoms and going through a flare-up. My friend, who has a chronic illness, tracks the weather with her symptoms, and she's going through a rough time too. All (or most) chronic illnesses gets worse with certain weather situations, and I don't know what's going on now, but maybe solar flares. I'm fine though. It's nothing new. It's because of the symptoms that I called God a sadist, but I know he has his reasons for things and it's okay. He's not really a sadist lol, and I'm incredibly grateful to him. Wow, a tangent. Sorry!
Please don't ever worry about a late response. There's no such thing. If you skipped days, I know you're still around. Did you work on the farm today? At first, I thought it was for fun lol, but I'm guessing it's for pay. I hope so, since that's a lot of hard work in the hot sun. I'm not too talkative right now, so feel free to have all the tangents you want. I'd love it! I'm hoping you have another happy and fun-filled day, and that your spiral is minor. I'm truly sorry if it's not. If not, you'll get back to good. Maybe you'll have a "character building day" with me. That's what we call hard days (because tough days build character) But I'm glad you had more fun yesterday, than you have in a while. Thanks for being so kind and sensitive and such a good listener. I truly appreciate you and your delightful personality. I hope your day gets better. MUCH better. Take care, sweetie!
ReplyGosh, sorry I should have asked what made you spiral, if you want to talk about it. If you don't, no worries. You can tangent all you want though. Feel free. I truly hope you're doing better, luv.
ReplyI'm doing a little better. It happens a lot so I sort of know how to handle it or I'll just wait it out. Yeah it was a nice change from my normal, and I javent had a chance to just feel free like that in a while. Yeah just thinking about how fun yesterday was gives me hope and makes me happy. I'm glad you had a better evening. I hope your day is going well.
Ah, I'm still sorry you deal with that. I'm sorry that your friend is having a rough time and I hope she gets better. Yeah its weird how weather can impact people, but in hope you (and her) get better soon. Or feel better at least for a bit. Although you're used to it I'm still sorry you have to go through it. Ah I figured, yeah a lot of people seem to question his ways with all the bad in the world so I dont blame you. Yeah, I hope he has good reasoning for all the bad in the world. Although it may be payback for us destroying the earth, some people, like you, dont seem to deserve it. Dont worry about the tangent.
Yeah it will take a lot for me to stop talking with you, so dont worry if I'm a bit late. I didnt work at the farm. Yesterday and today I've been free of it, which is nice but I've been sleeping a lot more since I was exhausted. So yesterday I got home from the musical and my phone died in the car, and by the time I got home i was exhausted and fell asleep, but I apologise for not responding. Usually I'm better about it. The work is for a bit of both. I sort of need the money so that's a bonus but I am very glad to be helping the people who run it since they cnat take care of it all on their own so I feel bad taking money. I dunno, maybe I'm a bad person for it. Yeah I'm burned badly but now I was able to buy sunscreen so I'm good! Actually the outside of my ear bled a bit from the burn. But it's better now. Sorry for the tangent. Yeah I tend to talk too much, and it's ok that you cant or dotn want to talk much. I hope you get better first and foremost. My spiral was a bit minor and I distracted myself for a bit. I'm sort of resisting another one though. Listening to music helps me though so I'm doing that. Yeah I'm looking forward whenever I can becuase someday everything will fall into place and all will be well. Even if only for a moment. I like that. That instead of looking at them negatively you improve from them. Yeah yesterday was nice. I'm glad to be kind. Especially towards someone as sweet as you. Your personality and attributes are truly delightful as well!! I'm so glad that you exist because you are very kind and helpful. I hope your day gets better as well.
(Dont worry about not asking about the spiral. I usually dont have control over it and minor things that dont matter trigger it. Earlier some people were having their own conversation in a chat I was in and they didnt really include me so that made me start spiraling. It's a bit better now, thank you for the concern. )
Have a wonderful evening and I hope everything gets better for you!! You definitely deserve it. <3
ReplyI'm really glad you're doing a little better. Life is such a roller coaster, right? It's awesome that you know how to handle it. That's a big deal and a sign of maturity. And you know you'll have more good days, and I hope you get to feel free again soon. My day got better and was pretty good...so much better than the last few days. Gosh, I didn't even know that you responded late. There's no such thing as late Lol. I don't even have the app, so I don't notice. I'm glad you're catching up on your sleep and sorry you got so exhausted!
When I started looking into Christianity, the part where God allows so much bad, was really hard for me to accept. From what I understand, it has to do with our fallen, sinful nature and that sin always has consequences. Plus He allows things to happen, so we grow stronger personally and learn to rely on Him. At first, I was angry about all the bad in the world (and really angry about hell Lol), but I get it now and accept it. I believe God is good and he softened my heart and I trust him.
You totally deserve your wages! I'm sure it's hard work and I don't think you should feel badly at all. Gosh, your sunburn must be really bad, if your ear bled. I'm so sorry. I hope you have calamine or something to help it. I'm really sorry you've been struggling with spiraling. I'm so sorry you felt left out of the chat conversation. I know that can be painful. I feel for you and understand too.
My brother gave me some good advice, that's really helped me. That when we feel a negative emotion, don't resist it, but feel it completely, because negative feelings are meant to be short-lived, but if we resist them, they hang on longer. Sometimes I'll sit and meditate on the bad feeling and try to go as deep into it as I can. Sometimes it will disappear then, plus I'm less afraid of feeling badly now, because of facing emotions head-on.
Oh gosh, I totally had two tangents. SO sorry! You're the delightful one! I really appreciate your kindness and you're a total sweetheart. Your friends and family are lucky to have you. I hope you're feeling good tonight and having a peaceful, happy evening. <3
ReplyYeah I'm feeling a bit better today as well. Yeah it's a roller coaster all right lol. Though I guess that means its exciting and fun at some parts even if it's scary st others. Yeah learning to handle it took a while and I'm trying to get better with it but anything is better than letting it ruin my day. Yeah I'm always looking forward to more good days. I think I'll have some soon. Freedom is such an exhilarating feeling and I hope I can find a way to be free again soon as well. I'm so glad that your day got better! And that it was better than your days have been! You definitely deserve that. Yeah I tend to check this app a lot so it's weird for me to take a longer time. Yeah it's so nice to finally be able to sleep, and I'm fine with the exhaustion because I'm pretty used to it.
I can understand how it would be hard to accept. All the bad in the world tends to get to me a lot so it can be kind of frustrating to learn that not much is being done. I guess that does make sense though. Although it's a horrible truth I know there are reasons. That's what my dad used to tell me, that when I get through the rough times I'll be stronger. So I believe it. I would be angry about it too, all of it is really hard to accept as it is but when you think that He could fix it but doesnt it can get more frusterating. But I'm glad you've come to accept it. I think that believing He has reason for it is better than remaining spiteful towards Him.
I'm glad you think so lol. I feel a bit guilty but it's also nice. It does get hard... especially since my knees arent the best... but it's ok. Yeah the sunburn was only on my wars since I wore a hoodie to cover my arms and my face wasnt as exposed to the sun. Yeah I have aloe which has been helping. Yeah usually I'm good about trying not to spiral but recently, in the past month, it's gotten a bit out of control. I guess it will help me learn to deal with it for the future though, but some things I spiral about I cant fix and it's hard for me to accept it sometimes. Yeah I never know what to do in those situations since i dont want to jump in.. it's hard but I'm ok with it.
That is some awesome advice! I'll have to remember that. I think it is very right since eventually you will have to face the negatives so it's best to do it sooner rather than later. I will have to try what you do and see if it helps. I'm glad that you found a way to get through it and that it works. I'm glad it has helped you to be more confident with facing your emotions.
Dont worry about going off on tangents! I enjoy it, plus it shows that you have a great passion for what you're talking about which makes me happy. I think that you're delightful as well! Thank you for the compliment, your positivity is greatly appreciated. You're so kind and caring, I think you may be the sweetheart. I'm glad you think so. The people around you are lucky to know you becuase you are such a treasure to talk to, let alone know. I'm feeling pretty good! I'm kinds annoyed at the app since when I check a little bit ago the notifications dodnt come up even though according to the time stamp it should have, but it's fine. I hope you are good as well and that however you're feeling it gets even better! I wish you sweet dreams, and stay safe! <3
ReplyI'm glad you're feeling a little better today. I hope your day gets better and better. It really helps knowing that good days are ahead of us. Sometimes when I'm in a bad day, it feels like life will always feel that way, but it always does. So we can look forward to that. Yay,it's another character-building migraine day lol. I probably won't say much, as It's hard to see straight. I won't say much about my church tangent lol, but reading the Bible, I saw the patterns and understand why God allows things.
I'm so sorry that you're exhausted a lot. Is it from the farm, or because you don't sleep enough, or other? All this time, I'm thinking the farm work is for fun (cuz you make it sound fun lol). But I know how hard it can be, especially if your knees aren't the best (mine either), and I truly feel for you, especially if you're exhausting yourself. I'm truly sorry you've been spiraling more this month. Is it caused by random things? I can totally relate, and wonder if it's because of your being sensitive too. I wish we didn't have to be sensitive. I know some see it as a blessing, but sometimes it feels like for of a curse.
I hope you're still feeling pretty good. My head is too cloudy to think anymore. If I totally disappear today, that's why Thanks for being such a sweetie and truly appreciate you and your kindness. You're in my prayers, luv. Have a wonderful and wonder-filled day. Take care <3
Replymy brain lol. I meant to say that when I'm in a bad day, it feels like it will never be any different, but it always changes. Non-functional brain day lol
ReplyJumin (Need Jumin hearts?)
Row 6 Photo 1 – Second Visual Novel after 16:21 – Suspicious Jumin (Need Yoosung hearts?)
Before i get to my response i wanted to say i may not seem like myself and i apologise. This all also may make zero sense since i'm on my computer and my brain is a bit scattered.
Today has been pretty… up and down i guess. I was doing better earlier but now, not so much. It's not as bad as it could be but im trying my best. Although deep down i know it will get better, it's hard sometimes. It's exactly as you said, on the bad days it feels like they may last forever. I think that's where i am right now. It's just that whenever it seems like things are getting better they go wrong again and its this loop that i can't escape and it doesn't seem like i will get better. Sorry for the mini tangent. I'm sorry you have another migraine today and i hope it gets better. Don't worry about writing a lot, i get it. Don't worry about elaborating on the “church tangent” it’s really fine, but i think its cool that you can read the bible and find all of that.
I’m sorta used to the exhaustion i guess. I think other things may influence it or make it worse, but it just feels like my soul is tired. I just feel like im tired all the time and not much can fix it. Yeah i tend to not be the best at describing things, sorry. I'm kind of frustrated since i was asked to work for the holiday this week and im conflicted about it since i need the money but i would also like to see my family, so i may have to find a compromise to do both. Yeah my body is easily tired even if mentally i can keep going.
With spiraling, things can tend to influence it but it is also random a lot. I just, lately things haven't been the best, which tends to happen over the summer, but it feels worse. Everything feels more intense and extreme and i just feel like every tiny mistake i make is much bigger than i know and it's been getting to me and making me spiral, but i've been trying to cover it up and put on a happy face and be brave but its hard. I think my sensitivity plays a large roll. I just keep thinking about things, in the past present and future. And then im thinking too much and too fast and it gets out of hand and eventually i can't control it and it feels like everything that has ever happened is coming back to me and every memory and every word rushes to my mind. And then it goes blank. And I can't talk about it because it's so hard to pinpoint it or describe it. And it comes and goes so much that i never know when the right time to bring it up is. I would love not to be sensitive, or at least to be less sensitive.
Again, im not sure how im feeling right now. I'm sorry to hear that your brain is clouded, and don't worry about going away for a bit. Sometimes people need to take a break, so take some time and take care of yourself. Thank you for the compliment, and thank you for being so kind. Im honored to be in your prayers and you will be in mine. I hope everything gets better and im always here to talk. Stay safe <3
Reply(ok sorry for the bit at the top like the first two lines that are really random and out of place i did not mean to copy them and i cant delete the comment to get rid of it and now i feelreally embarassed i am so sorry)
ReplyLol, I was a bit confused by the beginning of your comment. It made me smile. I'm truly sorry you're having such a hard time staying in a good place. I do understand, from my own perspective. I feel a so much compassion for you and truly empathize and sympathize with you. I think we have so much in common, emotionally. We both tend to spiral easily. If someone looks at me wrong, I'll spiral. Maybe cuz we're both ultra sensitive, which totally blows for both of us.
I'm really trying to be more okay with bad days, knowing they'll pass eventually and am trying to quit wanting good days, because when we REALLY want something, it eludes us. I'm doing my best to be okay with whatever comes and accept it. It's not easy though. We all want good days all the time. I know how weird this is gonna sound to you. I don't really put my hope in this life at all, because it's SO hard. All my hope is in the next life, and that's what I live for and it's what gets me through. Before finding God, I really wanted out of this life. I know that sounds really dark. It was lol. I do know about the loop you're talking about. I'll have a few good days then BAM, a bunch of bad days. I've heard that wanting things (like to feel good) causes suffering. I guess that means we can feel badly without suffering. I kinda get that. And I know do understand, when you said your soul feels tired. I'm SO sorry you're feeling that, especially when you're so young. Total Tangent! Sorry!
Gosh, it seems like you really need a break from working and to have some fun and be with your family. Maybe your plan is the best...to have some of both, if you really need the money. I truly feel for you, being so exhausted. I'm sorry you feel like your mistakes are bigger than you think. Wow, you are a worrier too. We do have a lot in common. I'm feeling like everyone is feeling like things are a lot more intense lately. I feel it too. I remember when life didn't feel like this at all. I think something is changing and maybe the end is coming lol (Christians believe it's coming soon). I feel for you, that things feel so intense. You don't have to put on a happy face. It's okay if people know you're not feeling okay. So much easier said than done. I don't know how to NOT put on a happy face either.
My heart is breaking for you, that you're not feeling good, and that everything feels so extreme. I think we're in it together. I'm hoping we'll both have some good days ahead. You deserve it. You're so kind and you're sweet personality comes through your writing. I'm glad you were able to talk more about yourself. I hope you keep doing it. I hope your evening is better luv. I'm sending you a big bear hug and lots of Love! Take care sweetie.
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ReplyYeah I accidentally copied the end of something I had for one of my friends. Sorry. Honestly, I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm glad you understand how I feel but I am also sorry that you do. I'm glad you feel that way about me, and I feel the same towards you. I only want the best for you. Yeah spiraling is not fun especially when little things trigger it. I get what you mean about someone looking st you wrong. I think it is cuz we are very sensitive, which is ok sometimes but is hard to deal with most of the time.
It's good that you're becoming more accepting of the bad days. I think I need to stop looking towards Good days as well since it makes me hate my situation more and ends up hurting more than helping. And you're right that the more we want something the harder it is to obtain. I'm proud of you that you're doing you best with whatever you have. You're doing great, even though it's not easy. Yeah it's hard to not crave for something better. No matter the situation you're in. I remember reading that if we all got everything we wanted we would still find things to be unhappy about. It doesnt sound weird. I think that sounds better than looking towards something that can seem impossible in this life or even world. It is hard, and I'm sorry if it gets you down. I'm glad you have something like that to live for and look forward to. I think I'll put my hope in the next life too. Becuase maybe it's better but we dont know unless we can survive this life. It does sound dark, but I understand. I'm sorry you went through that and I'm glad you're doing better now. And I'm glad you stayed around. Yeah I dont like being stuck in the loop becuaee it feels like a trap whenever things are going well. I think you're right. That when you want something it hurts you more than it helps you. I get it too. That when you feel badly you may not necessarily be suffering. You may just be down for a bit. Sorry if that doenst make sense. Yeah it's just like this deep feeling of being tired. Dont worry about me feeling that way. I'm a bit used to it so I just try to distract myself. Dont worry about the tangent, it's really fine.
Yeah I'm taking a break from it to go see mt family. It's been a while and becuase of when we are eating I wouldnt be able to work anyway. It would be nice to di noth but I've sorta accepted that its ine ir the other and I want to choose family. I'm sorry that you understand what it's like to be truly tired. Its not fun and I'm sorry that you know what it's like. I hope you're better now. I've always though everything I di was worse than it was. I'm not sure what started it but it has been with me for a long time. I am most definitely a worrier lol. Everything concerns me. I'm sorry you are too since it can get hard to handle sometimes. I think it's nice that we have a lot in common, but I'm sorry it seems most of it is negative. I feel bad you go through it. Its probably worse for you, may e I'm making my situation out to be worse than it really is. I'm not sure. Yeah everythi ng seems to matter so much more as of late. I wonder why everyone seems to be feeling it now. I miss when things weren't as important as they are now and you could just relax and be happy without thinking about everything. Sorey for the mini tangent. Yeah something is definitely changing, and yeah maybe the end is near. In a weird way it is sort of comforting since that's the only thing certain in our lives. Yeah. I'm sorry if I seem overly dramatic. I worry that maybe I'm exaggerating how I feel or what is really going on. Sometimes it get really bad to me and others I think I'm just being childish and whining. Thanks for saying that. That I don't need to put on a happy face. I think its something I need to understand. I try so hard to seem hally to please the people around me and to keep them from worrying, but lately I've gotten worse and people have noticed. I'm scared to let people know I'm not ok. As dumb as that sounds. I'm scared. Yeah its easier to pretend it's ok than it is to face the truth. And I'm sorry that you cant not put on a happy face. I hope you know that it isnt a requirement to be 100% all the time.
I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I'm worried that maybe I was being too dramatic and causing you to worry for no reason. I thinka bout that a lot. In the moment it seems so extreme but afterwards I'm worried that I was, maybe lying about how bad it is or was. I'm not sure. Sorry for that tangent. I really hope good days and things come your way soon. You are so kind and understanding and helpful and caring that you deserve so much more than what you have right now. I'm glad you view me positively, sometimes I think I'm a bad person but I think that maybe you're right. Maybe j am better than I think. So thanks, your kidn words help. Yeah it was hard to get the courage to talk like that, and I'm sorry for the randomness of it. I was having a rough time and I'm sorry if I seemed overdramatic and I am immensely worried that I made it seem worse tha it is. Its really not that bad looking back. I hope you had a wonderful evening and sweet dreams. And I wish only good things for you. Thank you for the hug and love, I'm sending it right back! <3 stay safe, and thank you.
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ReplyHow are you doing today, luv? I truly hope you're doing better. I hope I can put two words together, because of a whopper migraine. yay, character building day AGAIN, but its okay. Awesome that you're choosing to be with your family instead of working for the holiday. That's what I was hoping for. I'm happy for you. I don't think you were overly dramatic at all. Remember, there's no such thing, as overly dramatic. You needed to express it, and I really didn't even see it as dramtic, so don't worry, luv. There's no way you're a bad person. Not in a million years.
Well dang, one thing we know, we both spiral easily, and I feel for us. I wish I knew how to control it. I've tried so many things. The only think I know, is to accept it and feel it. I'm terrified of my mom, not because she mean (well kinda lol), but she pushes my buttons constantly and one small conversation with her will ruin my whole day
I agree with you. That if we got everything we wanted, we'd still find things to be unhappy about. I've seen it a lot. Wealthy and/or successful people aren't any happier than we are, in general. I'm debating on a tangent, but not sure whether to go there. Okay, feel free to completely ignore it lol. Of course I have a little hope in this life, hoping for some good days here and there, but ultimately all my hope is in the afterlife (like I already said lol). Christians believe that we have to be saved in order to obtain a wonderful afterlife. Initially I held tight to Christianity/Jesus after seeing YT videos of some people telling their near death experiences of going to hell, but came back to live and I was completely stunned. And I was determined to do ANYTHING to not go there. Now my faith is more mature, so that's not my focus, thankfully. I know how weird that must sound to you. I used to think hell was a fairytale.
We do have those negative things in common Lol. But I'm glad we can understand each other and talk about it. I don't know many people who are so sensitive. I seriously wish we didn't have to be sensitive. Sensitivity rules my life, unfortunately. Don't worry about me. I'm really okay and take it as it comes, and I know I'll have a string of good days soon and will thoroughly enjoy them and I hope the same for you. I have to stop now. My head! I hope this even makes sense. I'm not able to think clearly. So forgive me if it's a mess 🙃 And sorry for my tangent. It's only because I really care about you, and I DON'T expect you to jump on the Christian bandwagon Lol. Maybe someday you'll think about it, even if it's 20 years from now.
I truly hope you're having a good day, luv. I love that we found each other here and I love hearing from you. Thanks for being such a sweetheart and have a wonderful day. I hope you take it easy and take good care of yourself sweetie.
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ReplyI'm a bit better today. I feel like I just sorta drifted through the day but it's better than suffering. I lost track of time and meant to check the app earlier so I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have sucha. Bad migraine and that it's another one of those days! I hope it gets better soon. I feel bad that you get them so frequently and I hope you dont suffer too much. I'm glad you're happy with my choice lolol. I think ultimately I will be to. I was being a bit dramatic about it though. You're right but I still worry about exaggerating certain things. But I find comfort in your words. And I'm glad you think that of me, I think the same of you.
Yeah it's not fun to easily be sent into a spiral. Actually spirals remind me of labyrinths which reminds me of this quote so I'll tell you, (I really like quotes), anyway it goes "how will you get out of the labyrinth of suffering" and in one of John green's books (looking for Alaska) he says that the way out is to forgive. But sometimes Its hard to find what or who to forgive and I think that sometimes that could help with spiraling. That you can forgive others or yourself even though I get that can be hard especially during a spiral when you're caught in your emotions. Not sure if that made any sense, sorry for rambling. Yeah I thinkaccelting it is a good strategy since it's worse to avoid it and push it until later. I'm sorry that your mom has such a negative impact on you, especially since just talking with her can effect your entire day. If you ever need to talk or vent go right ahead. And I hope it gets better.
Yeah, it's sad to see people reaching for things in hopes of happiness just to be left feeling empty. That's not to say you shouldn't strive for happiness but I think that mainly wealth will often leave people less happy than they think. You can always go on tangents. About anything. I will always be here to read whatever you want to say. I think it's good that you have at least a little hope in this life, and I think that putting a lot of your hope in the after life is ok, maybe good. Becuase that gives you somethi ng to work towards and look forward to. I think it's interesting that those things influenced you like that, but I can get it. When I was younger I was more into religion than I am now even though it wasnt much and I was always scared to do something wrong and end up in hell. I totally understand what you mena when you say you would do anything to avoid it. I would feel the same. I think it's nice that your faith has matured. This is another quote but, there was a woman named Rabe'a and she was known to have run through her hometown with a bucket of water and a torch. And when asked what she was doing she said, "I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to use this torch to burn down The gates of paradise so that people will not love God for want of heaven or fear of hell, but because He is God. " sorry for that mini tangent but that's something you reminded me of. Becuase maybe fear of hell or what of heaven pushed you towards the religion but it shouldn't be the only thing keeping you in that religion, if thay makes sense.. sorry. It doesnt sound weird at all. Like I said I totally get it!
Although it is sad we both have negativity impacting us like that, I am also glad that we can talk and share about it. I know some of the stuff you said has helped me. Yeah I think it is harder to find sensitive people, which is ok but then its hard to talk to others about it. I wish the same, and I'm very sorry to hear that it rules your life. I wish it didnt becuase it has su ch a powerful impact. I will worry, but I worry about everyone and everything so it's fine. I'm glad you do deal with it though, and that you know after bad must come good. I think we both have some good coming at us soon :) I'm so sorry your head hurts so bad! Dont worry about writing if it gets to be that bad, I dont want you to strain yourself just to talk to me, I can wait. It does make sense, dont stress about it. I'm sorry you cant think clearly, and if it was a mess, which it's not, that would be ok. I knwo it's hard. Dotn worry about the tangents. I know that you care and I appreciate you sharing with me in hopes to help. Dont worry about talking about religion XD. I truly do get it and why everyone has their beliefs. I am not totally immersed I religion and I dont give it much thought, but I do believe a great deal of things taught in christianity and when I was younger I was exposed to it a lot, so dont worry :)
I'm having a pretty good day as I said, and I really hope yours gets better and you have good days soon, or at least better days. I'm also glad to have met you and yo continue talking with you! It's an honor. Thank you for the comments, and thank you for the help you continue to provide me with. Ot means a lot. Take care of yourself as well, I hope you feel better!! Stay safe <3
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ReplyAwesome that you're doing better today! I love hearing that. I think losing track of time is a good thing. It usually means we're really involved with something engaging (I think?). Anyway, I like losing track of time. Yea, forgiveness is big. There's likely someone in our past that needs forgiving. I forgive Mom all the time Lol. But then I get triggered again. It would be wonderful to figure out how to now be triggered. I try to get as much space from her as I can. Thanks for your migraine sympathy. I'm okay with them. Each one is different. This one, I've had 2 days and it feels very lethargic. Some feel talkative and those are much better. So this might be brief, because of the lethargy.
The security that comes from wealth would be awesome. I used to wonder what wealthy people even had to worry about. But they get depressed, sick and heartbroken too and maybe put too much emphasis on materialism, which would feel empty. I like quotes too. Buddah (whom I don't believe in lol...pagan god) said that all(?) suffering is because of the impermanence of life and it's constantly changing (paraphrasing). So life is always changing for wealthy people too.
Did you grow up in religion? I actually grew up in a Mormon family, which is a cult. That's an interesting quote about paradise and hell. I had such a problem with hell, that God would send people there. I've finally come to understand it. God's ways are so different than ours, and now I understand why He does, but I won't do a tangent about it now Lol.
Here's a RuPaul quote: ”There are so many sensitive souls; they don’t know what to do with their feelings.” Well that's us What are we supposed to do with all these emotions? Feel them, I guess Lol. Someday they'll all be good emotions and there will be no tears. Yay!
Thanks for all your nice wishes for me. Tonight is somewhat better. I'm freaking out about fireworks this week and have been dreading it for months. I feel sorry for all the animals too, and there are a lot of horses and cattle here. I'm really glad you're doing better and hope your evening is good too. Thanks for sharing all your thoughts with me. You're always in my prayers, luv. Take good care, and have a nice night, sweetie and sweet dreams.
ReplyYeah I'm glad to. Losing track of time is kind of fun since you dont really feel rushed and yeah like you said sometimes it means we se wrapped up in something we enjoy. For me I just dont have anything going on as of late so I font have to worry about the time as much. Yeah I think I know who I need to forgive, but I figured it out too late and we dont talk anymore. When it was too late I tried to work things out but like i said... i was too late. I totally understand what you meant about forgiving someone only to fall back into getting triggered. The person who I forgave did that a lot. I hope you find a way to make peace with her, and in glad you found a way to cope with it by separating yourselves. Even though you're ok with the migraines I'm still sorry they occur, especially so frequently. It's ok that its brief. I get it.
Yeah I wish I could have that financial stability and I wish that for you too. It sounds pretty nice. Yeah it's sad to see how broken wealthy people could be as a result of the material goods they surround themselves with, but having that stability would also be nice. It's a two sided coin I guess. Yeah quotes are really fascinating. I tend to memorize them and end up randomly saying them to people. I think that's a good quote, even though you dont believe in him. It just shows that nothing lasts forever and that includes negativity. Life is always changing, like you said.
I wouldnt say I totally grew up in religion. My father definitely taught my brother and I some beliefs and values, and some of my aunts were very religious so we went to church with them for holidays. But I wastn too immersed In it. I didnt think that you grew up mormon. I dont have too much knowledge on that set of beliefs actually. Yeah I like the quote a lot. I'm sorry that you used to have a problem with hell but am glad that you now understand it. Yeah I find it hard to question much that God does since we may never know and He doesnt really do things the same way we do... I hope that made some sense. Whenever you would like to or feel up to it, feel free to go on a tangent. I would love to hear it. But dont push yourself
I'll have to remember that quote! I really like it. And it's so true. It's sort of like how matter isnt creation or destroyed but rather just transfers and changes, emotions are like that to me. That's so many of them but they will be forever changing and never go away. Ueah we should continue to look towards the day where we are positive and can finally feel them as happy emotions.
I'm glad you're doing a bit better tonight. I'm sorry that your getting anxious about the fireworks coming up, I feel bad for the animals as well. I hope you have a good way to ignore them or something along those lines so you dont have to deal with them as extremely as you would. If that makes sense. Thank you for the well wishes. My evening is pretty good. I hope your migraine gets better or goes away even for a little bit. I live sharing my thoughts with you and you're in my prayers as well and thank you for praying for me. I'm sorry if I didnt make much sense in this. Take care as well! Have a great night and I wish you good dreams! <3
ReplyHow is your day going, luv? I hope you're feeling happy and enjoying your day. Maybe you're working today, and if so, I hope you don't exhaust yourself. I'm glad your evening was nice. Mine was pretty good. I usually watch a Christian YT video at night and I look forward to it. Do you ever watch TV or YouTube?
Oh. My. Gosh. It's another migraine day, and it's kinda hard to write or even see straight, so I might be brief, even though I said that before, and it didn't happen Lol.
That's cool that your dad taught you some beliefs and values. I think it's great that you grew up with values and morals. So many people don't get taught values and morals at all. Growing up Mormon was actually really fun. I have a lot of wonderful memories from all the fun activities. And we got LOTS of morals Lol.
Sorry! I'm having such a hard time writing today. Feel free to go on a tangent. Maybe I'll do a tangent about hell sometime. I'm not functional enough to write lol. I truly hope your day is awesome and that you're feeling great. Take good care, luv.
ReplyI'm having a pretty good day actually! I'm kinda worried about some random things that I shouldn't worry about… and I am getting a bit compulsive about my weight again… but its fine. I'm not working today, luckily. The schedule is weird. Im sorta doing the opposite of exhausting myself lol. I'm glad you had a good evening and I hope you have a better day and evening today! I think that it's nice that you look forward to something like that. I don't really watch much tv… but I do watch youtube when I can or when I feel like it. Its relaxing.
I'm so sorry that it's another migraine day! I really hope that they go away soon so you can feel better. I'm sorry you can't really see straight, and don't worry about writing. I don't want you to strain yourself. Yeah don't worry about the length of your writing. I get it if it's short or even if you can't respond for a while. Your health is more important.
Yeah having morals and values is good and can help you to be a good person since you know right from wrong, or at least what you were taught was right and wrong. Yeah, i think more people should teach things like that since it creates more structure in someone's life and sort of gives them boundaries. I'm glad that growing up that way was enjoyable! And it's awesome that you have good memories and remember those good times! Yeah, I bet that you were taught a lot of morals, it sort of shows in your personality… if that makes sense.
Don't worry about writing! If you need to then just take a day to rest and relax so you can get better. I don't really have a tangent to go on at the moment. Not much has been happening, other than me getting a bit more obsessive with my weight but that's normal and I should feel that way since I really do need to work on it. Feel free to go on a tangent anytime! I will always be willing to listen to it. I hope you get better soon! And again don't feel obligated to push yourself just to talk with me, I can wait. I don't have many complaints about how im feeling, but i hope you feel better soon and that good things come your way. Stay safe! <3
ReplyOh I'm so glad to hear you're having a good day, and even though you're worried about weight, you're still having a good day. It's great that you get a day off and getting some rest. You need it. How is your sunburn? I hope it's healing. I don't watch TV either. I didn't like it. I get too emotional watching shows, for the most part. Yea, the migraine is getting old, lol, but it's okay. Maybe God took me seriously when I said "I'd rather have a migraine every single day, than depression." It's true. I would.
You triggered a tangent Lol. Worrying about weight used to ruin my days, especially if I got on the scale and it was the tiniest bit over. Now I don't have a scale in the house. I don't believe in them. They trigger me. I'll tell you how neurotic I used to be about weight Lol, since we're on the subject. I would worry about every little thing I ate, and constantly count calories, and if I went over, I'd walk and walk and walk Lol. I'd go on so many walks or just exercise. That's part of it. Another part is being afraid food and only liking/eating one food at a time, so I'd go months, eating the same food, because nothing else tasted good. I'm still like that, only I've gone years eating the same food, and nothing else tastes or sounds good. And there's more, but maybe I'll say it someday, because that was already a REALLY long tangent. But I'll say they're Not the usual suspects (anorexia or bulimia). My sister was kind of the same way, and we walked together.
I can tell you grew up with morals too. I'm really grateful for both of us. I'm grateful for the boundaries too. I'll stop now. Sorry about the long neurotic tangent. Don't hesitate to have a long tangent of your own. I hope you're having a wonderful evening and feeling happy. I'm so glad to hear from you and talk to such a kind, sensitive person as you are. Take care, luv <3
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