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It's a funny thing growing up, having different relationships with your family meebrs and actually seeing them as people instead of just 'Uncle' or 'Gran'.. Its even worse when the same people you idolised and couldn't be happier to see as a child turn twisted and bitter infornt of your eyes, become people you never thought they could be and the illusion of those rose tinted glasses shatter as they fall from that pedestal you had put them on.
It hurts. It hurts in ways similar to greif and a heartache.. The people you once knew are gone and in place of them are these vessels of humans you once knew now filled with hatred, spite and venom. With tounges so sharp and course they could be mistaken for a snake in the wild.. hunting on its own family for food as it becomes the most selfish soulless cold blooded animal...
You look back and compare these images in your mind, the memories and the good times you all shared.. You think to yourself have they always been this way, was I too young or too stupid to realise. Was I so caught up in wanting a small piece of perfection and normality that I had so badly craved I overlooked the monsters poison people that made up my family unit.... All those happy memories come crashing down like a knife through the heart when you remember and relaid that those people no longer exist. Simply fragments of your imagination seemingly bound to consistly remind you of what was, to consistly break your heart over and over..
This adulting stuff is way harder than you think, not the bills or the jobs or the figuring out life by accident half the time.. But the realisation and the truth that comes with age; no one is perfect, no one is who you think they are.. And everyone falls from that grace at somepoint.
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