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Hi,i made my way to this site by a google search.
I'm coming from a middle class family.I have read in 7 different schools,i can't really remember why My parents used to keep switching me to one place to another.I never became able to really socialize with other school mates because almost every year i used to see new faces amd used to get clumsy.I loved to avoid going to school because i didn't feel comfortable in new schools because i had to sit among whole new people after every 1 or 2 years.That's how my school life went.People say "You get the best friends from the school life" i didn't even make any good mate.Then came College (11-12), i went to a combined college (my previous schools were only for boys).I thought this time i would change my life,get some new friends,hang out with them,maybe i would get a girlfriend.But the reality was different.All of them were selfish bastards.They only talked or searched for me at the time of major exams mainly in the finals. I knew it from the begining. That's how my College life (11-12) went. In one word disgusting. I used to consider a guy as my best buddy,but he often treated me in poor way.Now i consider him as a normal friend.Now I'm preparing for University admission tests, It's too heavy for me but i am still trying. Wheneveri feel lonely i smoke cigarettes. This turned into a habit and now i am a chain smoker. I am the only child for my mother but i am the 4rth kid for my father. My dad is good to me but i never got the fatherly love from him,you know by saying fatherly love i meant taking your child for a walk,playing with him,going on vacations,thinking about your kids future etc.Actually I'm from an country where child lives with their parents for almost the whole life.You can guess from which part i can be.So whenever i asked for something costly (affordable) my father brought me but After that he used to rage,start a fight with my mom,behave bad with us,not buying sufficient groceries and food items and he did other unimaginable stuff.I travel to a coaching centre which is around 10 kilometres away from my home,when everyday it takes 2-3 hours for me to return home as the road stays heavily jam packed.I travel in local buses,and these buses are always crowded,people are so ignorant that even they sit on ladies only seats and do idiotic stuff.I really hate travelling like this.I asked for a cheap bike to my mom,she told me hundreds of unnecessary words just to make my want go away.Asking from my father,nah i am not dealing with the aftermath again.I am already half dead from inside.They expect,actually force me to study so that i can get into in a public University.Public unis are full of garbage people coming from villages.I am not disrespecting them but their behaviours are not interesting nor bearable.Now here i am.I Don't really know how i am going to be benifited from writting all this down.I just took a sleeping pill,gonna smoke a cigarette and cry.Will wake up at 6 AM to get going for the coaching centre in a local bus......
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ReplyI'd talk out the problems and the way you feel with your dad. Im sorry life is tough right now. It gets easier, eventually, you wont have to deal with the people who cause you so much pain, you get get a job and get away. Best wishes
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