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My Unsent Letter
5 months ago · · Writing Prompts
To the woman who gave birth to me. I don't even know what to call u. I just want to know who u r. R u ever going to let urself be revealed? Or is that my life sentence to wonder forever. Where u ever planning on looking for me? Or on me looking for u? Because I have spent half my life now doing so. FYI I NEVER judged u, I never blamed u. I just patiently waited to hear ur story so I could understand. As the years go by, it becoming evident that I will never get that chance and I wish u knew the heartache that causes. My life has been very traumatizing, and even more so without u. I want to say that I forgive u. Please give me that chance. All I ever wanted was a name, a face, a story. Whatever it is I feel like I could understand. I know life isn't perfect. I just want to see ur face once. Please let me! U don't need to hide. I need to know. Not knowing is so much worse because it opens up suggestion from my mind. The good or evil. It tournaments me on a daily basis. Can I really live and die never meeting u? Was I really that unwanted that u couldn't even look at me? Have u just literally forgotten I existed? I think about u everyday. I tell my kids they have a grandma they have never met. Can I please just have a picture of u? I always thought my questions would be answered someday, but now I'm not so hopeful anymore. U rejected me once and I forgive u. Please do do it again. My heart and soul cannot handle it. Why even give birth and put me out into this world without a mother? Why am I not worthy of an explanation? I have so many questions. I would accept meeting u under any circumstances, just once, in secret, whatever u feel you need. But please don't let one of us die first. Since day one of my life there has always been something missing from my soul. Always. Nothing has filled it, and boy have I tried to fill it with all the wrong stuff. Nothing. It is u and this hole is still there and it's eating me alive. I need to know, please let me find u.