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Its the first thing I think about when I wake. my body and my mind dont match up. Even doing nothing all day takes its toll. so what if...
I struggle to fight for control. I wanted nothing in life other to be. I am a caged creature forced to danced in a world of spectators. Each time it seems theres only one way out. so what if...
When my body isn't wracked with pain. My Mind plagues my every dream. I wake up crying for a world I cant have. It would be easier, but what if...
Every day seems harder, every night lasts longer. Time doesnt exist to me. Years go by without a thought. I fall deeper into dark. This could all be over if...
There is less then a handful of things keeping me bound in place. But each item is mountain impossible to move. What if I could get my freedom...
I know the cost...
The severity great...
The tears many... only my own now remain...
Ive pulled though years and years, of sadness. I force myself to walk upon the shattered remnants of my past. my body is destroyed, my mind is cleaved. What remains to be seen by the world is the mess I hide with every laugh, each joke, the beginning of each day.
The cost to free is a steep one...
But what is there left...
when each moment seems to last a lifetime...
each lifetime full of hurt...
my pain folding in on itself... amplifying...
I want nothing more in this world then to be free...
But what if... instead I could just dream...
what if... I paid the price for my freedom...
what if... I just did it...
would I be happy...
after all... just what if?
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I'm so sorry for the pain you're living through, dear. It sounds nearly unbearable. Can you have freedom another way? I'm here for you. I've been there, wanting to quit living, and it's an unbearably painful space to be in. If you want to talk, I'm here for you, sweetheart.
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