This is what I see/feel

What I see is someone who is extremely lost & alone.

Even if you have the people you love most living right under your roof

You are still lost, alone & confused.

You look around where you live

And you look like you feel nothing but helplessness.

But you will not ever feel guilty.

Fine. Do not feel guilty.

But do not act as if you did nothing wrong

And expect for people to twist their bodies for you at your command.

But that is JUST what I SEE

You tell me you cannot do this anymore.

You are too old for this.

You are probably right.

But what are you doing to change it?

I cannot tell you to stop drinking excessively.

It is simply not my place.

But I will tell you how i feel about it

And how much

It terrifies me

Because you turn into something completely unrecognizable

For a grandmother.

Thats just how i feel & based of what i have seen.

I do not hate you one bit like you swear up and down that i do!

i know what hate feels like and i refuse to let myself feel that was towards anyone again.

Grandmother, I do not hate you. I love you. I love you so much

Seeing you hurt yourself & blame others for your pain..

You put down your own family for causing you such misery but really...

what did they do to you?

Live their lives the way they wanted to but not the way YOU wanted them to?

My mother is not a whore.

My little brother is nothing compared to my uncle but yet you call my little brother an asshole just like your son.

After all that my brother does for you. Im in shock.

And for me... Well, im just no good like my mother. That her mistakes will be my mistakes and i will suffer for them.

You say such things to me they hurt.

BUT when the next day comes.

All of the sudden you did not say such things to me

But i have to apologize to you for telling the truth and sticking up for others

Hey... thats just what i see