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So I hear these voices in my head. I hate them. I can't get them to stop unless I type or I talk to someone. Though they do get me to talk back to them why I don't know how come, maybe it's because they are my selfish hope. Hope something anything will notice me. Some one will help me. Show me that I am not alone but loved. I do talk to them and someone else that reads this will say go to a shrink. Ironically I hate people that nod and try to tell me meds and regimens will help me. What helps me is a real person who actually believes me. Someone that goes through the same stuff. Someone that shows me that I am valued, I have value. My parents don't show that. My siblings don't care. My friends, I know they understand a little but not all. Most of them are stressed enough. My best friend understands. He knows I'm crazy on days and fine others. He knows me as that best friend to trust as a crazy and unstable person. I was raped and robbed of my old self at a young age for the first 3 years for the second. I don't care. My newborn self proved that I can't take the bullets and take the worst words a person screams. I can take the hate and pain the give to me. I don't mind it. I take it and spit out what can be used to heal.
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