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Why
_
Why did you do it?
Did it hurt when you did?
_
Of course it did, how could it not?
You're forcing your body to give up
When it's not time
_
I guess it was your time, though
I guess I was the last person you needed to set you free
I was the last light
and I burned out
_
I'm unsure if I'm supposed to apologize
I did absolutely nothing but be there for you
But when you needed me the most
I vanished
Sorry, Avatar pun, you used to know I couldn't be serious
_
We used to chat about everything
came to eachother about everything
I was there when you tried the sixth time
I didn't believe that you tried, at first, and still don't
But I still give you the benefit of the doubt
I wish I still could give you that
_
I wish Zyad didn't exist
I wish I never met my brother
I wish that my father understood more
I wish I was adopted, to never be in this family
I wish that I was allowed to mourn over you
I wish that you were here with me
I wish that wishes came true
_
It feels surreal, to be honest
You, the only person that I've met so far, that was able to understand me, is gone
I wonder what would've happened if I had my way
If I was allowed to stay
Would things be different? Of course
But would you still be alive? Probably
_
You tried seven times
Seven
and you finally succeeded back in October
Were you happy when you did?I still don't know what route you chose,
since you never specified on your note to me, but thank you for one, by the way
_
I'm sorry about my older brother
I promise you
Never in a million years
Will I ever be like him
_
My heart feels heavy
Our small family misses you (mostly me, though), but it's too late
My stepmother didn't even allow me to mourn over you, the hypocrite
_
I'm gaining more confidence
I hope you aren't watching, you'll call me pathetic if you did
_
Goodbye
Your nightlight, Jiirneziel
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