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I've been having bad thoughts lately, like BAD bad thoughts. I'm also the only Christian in the family, only because I like the idea of there being faith.
Every night when I pray, I ask the Lord to give me a reason to live and a reason to die. The past few dreams I've had have all been about this guy who liked me, then didn't like me when I liked him.
Why do I keep dreaming about him? Is it because I can't stop wondering why I keep dreaming about him? Is this my reason to live that I've been asking from God every single night?
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Gosh, I don't know about dreams. Mine are so random and nonsensical.
It sounds like you're being oppressed, if you don't want to live. I listen to Joanie Stahl and she has some videos about spiritual warfare. She's on YT. One of them is called Spirit of oppression and then there's a two-part on Spiritual Combat. She's one of the few Christian I trust. She may even help you personally. You can message her or email her. She's really helpful. Maybe you have a good pastor who can help. Anyway, I didn't want to live either, and God has healed me.
I'm SO sorry I didn't see this post until today. I hope you're doing better. I'm here for you and would love to talk, if you're up to it sometime. I don't have any Christian friends. All the best!
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