What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
ok so some context before i vent, these thoughts have been roaming in my head for the past few months, to the point where i couldnt stop thinking about it. It all started after i almost chocked to death while home alone. That experience got me thinking about my Faith and about mortality in an unhealthy way. I am seeing a therapist, but she is more invested in other parts of my life.
Now with context, here it is.
Someone kill my mind, ignorance was so blissful. Thinking about everything has brought me to the point of complete mental insanity. I cant speak to my therapist about this because she doesnt seem to care about these struggles. I tried to see if people are experiencing the same things on the internet, but i just come empty handed. It hurts, so much. Not physical pain, but psychological pain. My passion to know everyrhing there is to know about this world has become my major downfall, my want to know the bigest of the picture and see the truth behind the forever unknown is killing me from the inside out. Maybe offing myself right now would give me my answers, but i havent lived yet, i havent seen the world enough yet. But the only way to know the unknowns is to die. But if the atheist ideals are true, I wont actually know what happens, i would just be gone. My conciousness being gone puts me into sheer pannic and a petrified state of pain. My conciousness is all i know, its how i perceive everything in the universe, and for that to be gone is just ... painful. I cant sleep, so i try to avoid the topic by brainwashing myself with the internet, but sometimes that doesnt work and i stay awake til 3 am just so that i can pass out from exhaustion. Its a vicious cycle that i just want to stop. Someone help me ... please. I feel trapped in my mind, with no escape. From every way i see it, death is inevitable, my greatest most petrifying fear is the only thing in this world that is consistent. I dont know what happens after death, and thats what scares me the most. Its getting hard to breathe again, and im all alone with nobody to comfort me.
Typing this out has just helped me out already, and hopefully posting it will help a lot as well.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Thank you for noticing
I want to say thank you for the doctors/ nurses who noticed. When i had my allergic reation i didnt know what to do because i wasnt allergic to anything....
-
I don’t think my parents accept me.
They’re always talking to my sister and her German boyfriend, and I’ve got no attention from them. I’m scared of them, I’m scared to tell them that I mi...
Well I'm a Christian and sort of know what you might be going through. I found all my answers in the Bible and from good pastors and teachers. According to what I believe, if you off yourself, you'll still have consciousness, but it won't be pretty.
I didn't believe in God, but I started to wonder how I was even created, so I prayed to my creator and things kept presenting before me, like certain videos and I was led into Christianity/Jesus and I believe it with all my heart and it's what gives me purpose, hope, comfort, strength and so much more. Maybe you'll pray too. Your therapist will most likely not agree. All the best. I'm here for you.
ReplyI'm back. In case you're interested, Times Square Church on YT has the best pastor I know (Carter Conlon). Joanie Stahl on YT is really good too.
ReplyI'm in the same boat as you are. I have this huge fear of what comes after death to the point where I'm not even sleeping and questioning my faith. I'm also seeing a therapist but I've never talked about that. Every night I get this wave or fear where my body goes cold and it's hard to breathe but I have also learned how to live with it and hope that as we get older it won't seem as scary anymore. you aren't suffering alone you have the rest of people like us. let's hope that your mind will be more at ease.
Reply