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The most difficult day of my life and what I learned from it
4 years ago · 0 · Sexual Assault, +3
812
It was February. I was 16 and me and boyfriend were hanging out after a play practice. We'd been dating for about 2 months just under that, and he was always pressuring me to do things that I didn't really want to do.
We both grew up very religious and in a very religious community, and even though I really didn't like church or my religion those ideals and lessons you learn as a child are hard to shake off. My boyfriend said he loved our church and our God and we would fight about it a lot, because he said he couldn't be with someone who wasn't worthy of him and the gospel.
But on the February night we went to his dad's house to watch a movie and play board games, I thought other people were going to be there and it was a group thing, but soon I realized we were alone in his house and would be for hours. At first it was kinda fun, making out with my boyfriend and eating popcorn, but it took a turn really fast and I didn't know how to stop it or take control of the situation, I was just really scared.
It's been over 2 years, and I really haven't learned anything positive yet. I learned how to not trust people, I learned that people won't help you and usually don't care unless it's for personal gain. It sounds really bleak I guess, and I know I should work through it, but I'm scared and ashamed. I went to therapy a few times, but when she told me I was going to have to talk about it and face it, I stopped going. I think however the biggest thing I learned (going back to the prompt) is how to hide pain and fear.
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