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Hey, Trevor.
I know this is my first time REALLY communicating with you, and you may hate my guts for what I've done to your son, but it's worth a shot. First of all, it didn't cross my mind much in the past that you were watching over and seeing EVERYTHING during that 4 year relationship of ours. But, since I've lost 3 people in the past year, myself, I'm hyper aware of it, now. So, I'm sincerely sorry for the way I acted, or the things I've done. You also saw that he was equally at fault, though. I know he, his mother and brother both miss you so badly. I wish I could have met you, too. I've seen the pictures of you..God, he looks like your clone. It's crazy. So in a way, I feel as if I have met a part of you. I really hope that you don't hate my guts...seeing as you could see all of the other things I was (& am) struggling with. I have no idea if you still watch me from time to time. Probably not. I truly do hope that you don't hate me. I hope you see that I have your sons best interest at heart..and as much as I want it to be me, I don't feel as if I'd be good for him right now. That's why I've distanced myself. But I really want to be there for him to lean on. I'd gladly be his best friend. I hope you can relay the message to him...please encourage him to reach out to me. I'd love to be here for him. This is a last resort attempt at trying to have him in my life. I miss and love him so much, it's affecting me so negatively. Please, Trevor, if nothing else, push him to reach out to me. I'm sorry if you hate me, but he needs someone to be there for him, instead of him being everyone else's rock. Please help him and I. Thank you for blessing this world with your amazing son. He's changed my life so much. Please help him.
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