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It begins as a passing thought in the day, a restless night of overthinking, a panic attack when this incomprehensible thought loop hits you: what is reality? What is time? How and why did we end up here? What is consciousness? The questions don’t add up at the start, but when you think more about it, the realisation hits: we are nothing. Because, really… What are we? We are tiny specs compared to this Earth, this Earth is so tiny in comparison to this galaxy; so tiny our brains can't comprehend even the smallest fraction of that distance. Our galaxy isn’t even the only galaxy in the universe, and who knows what else could be out there? That sounds amazing at first, but then you sort of zoom your mind back to your body in a sense and look out of your eyes. What do you see? A wall? Some trees? A building? Think, really think, about how little of the universe you are looking at right at this moment. You are simply an animal on some random dirt rock. You may so “no, wait, I am so much more than that! I am me! I have a name, and a personality, friends, family. Well, yes… But also, no… Are we really more than our bodies? the chemicals in our brains? Our animalistic desires? We spend our lives conforming to the laws of the universe and science and even, to an extent, the ‘law’ created by mankind. We abide by these rules because we have nothing else. We shit and piss and puke and laugh and cry and kill and die. This is the scariest realisation for me: I am just an animal; bound to my mortality.
i wrote this at 3pm after not sleeping for 48 hours and also while stoned. apologies for mistakes or if any points i made were a bit stupid i have like 2 brain cells rn
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I think you have really great points. I struggle with the same thoughts and for the past 2 years I’ve been housebound because of them. Something clicked in me the other day, I’m sitting here letting my life go by knowing it doesn’t matter and being miserable. Why not try to do things that make you happy while you go through the ride of life? We’re already here, might as well try to make the best of it while we can, right? I know it’s not that simple, but just know you’re not alone with these thoughts, and lots of people feel the same way.
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