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My father never allows me to be myself and express myself. He tells his friends to look me up online and then gives him everything they find. He will then bring it up to me randomly and say that I should not be posting those kinds of things. When I mean those kinds of things I posted a picture of me and my friends and my dog. Then he said "you shouldn't let people see what you look like and what our dog looks like, it makes me look bad" Me meaning him. My father goes through all my texts, all of my pictures, and then judges me. I went and got a small ear piercing because I wanted one and it was very very very small and he said it makes me look gay, that's not what men in our family do. Mind you, all the men in our family besides me are in their 50 and above. He expects me to he exactly like him. Im in college now, not in a major I want, but he expects me to go and work for him after I graduate even though I have expressed to him that, that is not what I want. I have expressed to him that I want to go into filming and media but because it wasn't apart of his plan for me when I was young than I am not allowed to follow my passions. He always says how no one ever listens but never sees that he never listens as well. Its very stressful and Im in a situation where I can't afford college which he holds over my head all the time so he can get what he wants. I've even suggested that I continue the major that he wants but than I minor in filming. However, this does not work for him and says that if I choose a minor not to his liking he will cut me off and then I will have to fend for myself fully. Even if that means I'd have to live on the street. I don't know what to do! He wants to be happy but doesn't want me to be happy if he doesn't agree with it. All he cares about is making himself look good. He once said to me that if I was to go into film that his friends would treat him differently because I didn't follow in his footsteps. In order to challenge him and to actually be happy is I created a youtube channel so that why I can work on my filming and editing in hopes that I can develop better understanding for the video making process and it also gives me a free space to express myself and my thoughts but my only worry is once he finds out about it he will threaten me with college and force me to shut it down.
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Just go and fend for yourself. For time being show him how you feel. You gotta coerce him into accepting you. Once you leave your daddy, he'll miss you.
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