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Today, I had the same feeling of sameness, sameness, sameness that I had a year ago. I wake up, go upstairs to eat breakfast and it's the same scene as it was the day before, and the day before that. It feels as though I'm living in some kind of groundhog day, trapped in an unending reality of darkness where I'm unable to progress to where I want to go. I feel down, unmotivated, unproductive, unhelpful, same, same, same, same, same.
What am I doing? Really, what am I doing? No matter how much effort I put forth doesn't seem to be changing anything I want to in my situation at all. A year ago I decided that I wanted to improve myself on the basis that I never wanted to feel this awful again. But now I feel like I'm almost back where I started. Back at rock bottom.
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