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Dear Former Roommate,
Words cannot express how awful I feel for what I did to you the day I sent you that gruesome letter, that letter antagonizing your continual fairness toward me, that letter stoning your sound judgement, that letter denouncing every good deed you did for me despite all of the stress I put upon you. In the moment, seeing you shaking, vexed, I knew I did something terribly wrong. Nevertheless to save my shattering hide, I initially put forward a strong face to attain my selfish point of argument — that is to temporarily relieve of the pain I was dealing with on the inside by desperately searching for someone like you to blame, to hurt. But I should not had involved you at all; none of what happened to me was your fault. And it was wrong of me to even accuse you and your pet for adding to my internal struggles. Before long, after you had still not returned the same reaction I had at you, after you wholly proved wrong my ill decisions, my outward barrier of apathy melted into a muddled slop of despair and persistent grief for months after our separation.
I'm sorry. I am truly, truly sorry.
Words like this cannot even make up for what I had done, as we both know we had not been talking much, if at all, after the incident. Words only cannot heal me or you, either; further efforts only do so. These efforts do not have to be restored conversation or revived companionship, but they can only be those to better ourselves and avoid a situation like this again. These words are the only way I can completely communicate my utter remorse, to set a milestone for me to finally forgive myself for what I did, to end the days of me dwelling on fearful worries and sorrowful reminders when I see you around. You are not compelled to forgive me at all.
Regardless, I wish the best for you, your boyfriend, and your pet, that all be well with you in the future.
Sincerely,
Your Former Roommate
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