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My boyfriend told me I was “learning quickly” meaning I was going fast which made me reevaluate myself and made me overthink and think I was going too fast so what I did was I started withdrawing myself, I stopped texting him as much and stopped telling him everything, I was writing my own demise. Of course he noticed and he broke up with me and it was all my fault. My best friend of seven years is moving across the country and I can’t do anything about it. And in reality, I’m probably never going to see her again. It’s been awhile since my dog died, almost a year now, but recently I had a dream where he was alive and well and looked super real and all the sadness of his death cane rushing back to me. I feel like I’m losing people and I can’t do anything about it and I’m all alone. But at the same time, if I really wanted to do something about it, I could. I feel like I don’t have anyone cause I did that to myself, I withdrew myself from everyone I was close to. I hang out with them, yeah, but I stopped telling them things, I didn’t wanna feel like a burden and I didn’t want them to have any power over me with the things I tell them. I know they would never hurt me using the things I tell them but I have a lot of anxiety and I get paranoid and overthink things and get irrational fears.
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You need to find a way to trust people who you know care about you. It’s not a all or nothing thing you know. You can share some part with some people and other parts with others if it makes you more comfortable. Share your problems but don’t dump all your emotions on one person. There is nothing wrong with going a little fast or a little slow. In most cases we are completely powerless, specially when it concerns other people but what we can control is how we look at the situation.
Try and find the balance in your life. Like I said, it’s not all or nothing.
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