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I'm in 1st year of college. Severely depressed.
My group mates are ignoring me and they are totally mad at me.
We have a video project. And i told them that I'll be the one who will present it. That's my only contribution. But i didn't show up because i haven't finished downloading it. So i gave up. They can hate me, it's ok. I don't know why I'm always like this. If i messed something up, i get away with it.
Just like how i haven't submitted my math homework, i did have a pair for that but i understand nothing. So i didn't show up for days just because of shame, I feel bad for being dumb and not being able to contribute something.
(My mind is disassociating especially in math, I'm very bad at it.
Even have to use calculator to solve the basics)
Now, i really feel terrible I'm planning to not attend that class with my groupmates anymore and drop it, so i won't feel weird sitting with my groupmates who hates me.
I'm bad at being on time and i tend to do things on the last minute. I've been like this ever since grade school. I'm a social failure too.
I am very irresponsible, and i lied to my parents about my grades. They enrolled me in a decent expensive school. They didn't know how's my mental state. I usually get drunk every weekends with my close friends. I have lots of absences.
I'm very worried i feel like there's something wrong with me mentally. I have severe social anxiety i don't really talk to anyone in class or even engage in it, because I'm terrified. And I'm scared to get help.
I think I'm not going to survive college. I don't know what to do anymore.
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hello, i just became a college student last june,
on the first day i was really really scared since i do not know anyone on that school.
every group activityi become so scared.. I ask myself that what if no one pick me?
what if they wont like? and etc.
I am not smart when it comes to math but i try my best to understand it ..i just put in mind that i should study hard since my parents work hard to pay my tuition at school.
..later on I became close with some of my classmates because i try to get along with them
so dont worry ,,it was just a challenge for you, if you think you cannot overcome this problem then think of the previous problems before..how did you overcome those?
and just believe in yourself that you can do it ..:)