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Maybe you parents can do it both : give you life and take it away as well
5 years ago · 0 · Harassment, +8 · Explicit
748
Hi, I'm new to this platform but I'm lucky to find it, before I officially lost it. I'm from India and my family is not so good. Well not good at all. They are the worst family one can actually find. You might think everyone says that but I can challenge you that I, to some extent, know what I am saying. My parents decided to get a divorce exactly 11 years ago when I was 8 years old. My mother, my brother and I moved to my mother's parents place before the court proceedings started. It was horrible, my grandparents were really, and still are, shitty. Shitty as hell. They would ask an 8 and 11 year old to do chores, keep it quiet and other stuff that such a little kid should not bother itself with. My mother seeing that it's not gonna work out with her kids here and due to the lack of support from her parents, decided to move back in with my dad. And since then it's as shitty as it can get. Or I grew up too soon because what I went through at such a young age. We live in a rural region because of my dad's job at this huge polymer plant and so I moved to a city for my junior and senior year. I was preparing for engineering entrance exam, cuz every working person in our family is an engineer, except for my mom, she is a lecturer. So I was high on life, positive and motivated when I got there and worked hard, really hard. My grades were good, I had made new friends and have met some really interesting people. I was really looking forward to how it will turn out. My junior year finals were approaching, I was doing just fine with my preparation but it all went downhill when one morning, my mother got a call from police that my brother, who was in another city for attending college, tried to commit suicide. That day is still fresh in my memory. I was crying non stop. My mom was on the phone contacting my dad, who doesn't bother to call us or pick our calls, like ever. Next thing I know, I was on the plane to him, one in the morning. We couldn't find a cab so we traveled in auto, those little open carriers, in December, for three hours, in Delhi smog, to get to his hospital. I sprinted the hallway to see him. There he was. Lying limp and unconscious on the hospital bed with monitor beeping constantly next to him. He had bandages covering his forearms. It was horrible and my dad, well he seemed peachy, as always. Later when my brother was recovering, my dad brushed it off like he was just doing it for attention. His words killed every positive emotion I had left for him. How come a father be so ruthless and unkind towards his own son, his first born. We got back to our place, for we thought it was the best option right then. My brother would often spiral out and scream and hit things and say mean things but it got better with counseling and anti depressants but it all took a toll on me and it reflected in my junior year results. I scored way less than what I expected. Then I threw myself in work to make it right. The senior year pressure is too much to bear but I was ready for it. But that's when the abuse started. My mom, has been through a lot, shitty parents, shitty husband, health issues, work place tension, and then what happened with my brother. She is a strong woman. But she was losing it. So she started saying shit things to me, like how I'm not working hard enough, how all this is a mistake and we should have never came here. I tried my best to let it get to me but it did. Then I burst one day. I called her out and told her how she should support me instead of pulling me down. But she was not having it so she started hitting me, throwing accusations at me, not letting me go to self study and doubt sessions by saying that I can do that at home. It was getting worse with each day. Long story short, I got really low percentage in my senior year exams and I didn't get desired streams in the colleges I applied for. Even my back ups sucked. That's what my own mother did to me. Now I'm repeating this year and those things have not stopped. My dad, as usual, doesn't bother himself with it but now I'm totally lost and hopeless. She hit me with a thick book today because I said that I don't want to go to some dumpster of a college just because it has a low fee structure. I was dizzy for 15 mins after that. I'm fine now and I really wanted people to know. Also I was diagnosed with thyroid a month ago and she is always blaming my sleeping routine and food choices for it but I'm not happy so I'm not healthy. I really wish for it to stop.
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