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A person I thought I knew did something I could have never imagined
4 years ago · 4 · sexual abuse, +2
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I used to have a best friend growing up.
We had been together for 7 years and we thought we'd be together forever.
I met her in 1st grade.
I think it was around 4th grade, she started acting strange.
She's an extroverted person, who's bright and bubbly. She has a short temper but is easy to get along with.
One day she gave me a letter and all it said was "I love you"
I wrote back "I love you too" on it.
She was happy, then suddenly sad and said "but we're both girls"
that's when I realized that she meant, love as in one with relationships, not the like love I was thinking.
We didn't talk about it after that.
Then in 5th grade, she asked me out.
I was surprised....I don't know if it was love or just something else, but I wanted to be with her.
We still kept our relationship a secret.
She's an athetic girl who would come first or second every race tournament we had at our school and I always came last. I had my passion for drawing and music. I play the violin. But even so, I'm not that good at it...
She became someone who I could never reach....
By 7th grade, we'd become polar opposites, even then she said she loved me.
and on 7th of December, I had my first kiss.
It wasn't romantic or anything...
not like in the movies...
it was at school, we had practice for the Christmas play and in the changing room when no one was around we kissed.
That's when she started getting more dominant.
After our kiss, she would tell me to stop talking to other girls at our school (it's an all girls school). if I didn't obey her she would push me against the wall and get angry.
She'd yell words I never thought she would....
I felt like crying...and held back my tears overtime she did that.
I didn't want her to get angry.
When we got into high school, she got even more aggressive.
We used to sleep together at sleepovers
and that night too....
I don't remember much because I was still half asleep,
but I remember her touching me...
it hurt a bit and I told her to stop but she didn't.
My parents were sleeping downstairs, and she told me not to make any noise.
She forced another kiss and undressed me.
I never would have imagined that she would do it.
She licked me and touched me all over my body.
It felt good.
But it felt bad.
It was hot.
As I fell asleep half way again.
She's been doing it since then.
Forcing me to do it with her, and if I didn't she'd say all those words again....
I don't know what to do
I love her
I know I do now
but I can't let this go on
it's not what I wanted...
we'll be graduating next year
and we might get separated
she's been forcing me to go the place she's going...
I'm scared.....
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Tell someone please. You have Ben hiding this for so long and you can’t. You might love her but it could be because she has dominated you for so long it feels like it. Tell you’re mom or anyone you trust
ReplyMaybe you love her but she doesn't understand the way you actually want to be loved, have you considered talking about it to her ? Or did you try ? It could become a really big problem, and since she (hasn't?) been in a relationship, for her, it's the example of a relation you guys should have. If she can't understand, I know it hurts, but you should really let it go
ReplyAll you have to do is tell someone, because if you don’t the situation is going to get worst and worst by day.
Replyspeak
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