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Hi. So im a 15 year old girl, and i am suffering from a eating disorder. At first i thought it was a phase that every girl goes through some time in their lives but it never actually goes down to anything serious. But i really had my mind set on this perfect body type, i wanted to have a skinny waist, skinny arms and legs and face. I wanted this so bad that i started to limit how much i eat, and i used to love food so much but i started to gain weight and you could clearly see it so it became a problem for me. currently i am trying to get better but everytime i eat something i feel disgusted and i just want to throw it all up and i tried doing that but i hate the feeling of throwing up. So im starting to gym more and trying to lose weight the healthy weight, but i refuse to eat sometimes and i get that is bad but i cant help it. Sometimes i can obiously tell i am hungry but i try to shut it out and just not eat because i really dont want to gain anymore weight. Ive been feeling this for 2 months already and i just told two of my best friends about it. They reacted quite nicely and ofc they would want to help me but i really hate getting help from others or the sympathy other people give to me. I hate it so much. it makes me feel week or inferior. I know they care only but i just dont want their help. I told them because i didnt want to lie to them, im just so conflicted. Sometimes i want to get better but then most times i just want to keep going till i am happy with my body.
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