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To my boyfriend's child's mother...
I understand from a certain perspective that a mother's duty to her child until the day she dies is to protect that child from anyone or anything that may harm them. I understand that you were there from day one and he wasn't. I understand that you feel wronged and that you feel he should have never left. However, what I don't understand is the pure poison and vile behavior from you when he's done nothing but try to do the right thing since you finally told him he had a child three years ago. She's five years old now. He's been there for over half of her life. He's done nothing but love her and show up to every visit with every intention to be as good of a father as he can be for her. Despite the fact that these visits were put together with only yourself in mind, supervised visits by YOU every other weekend on Saturdays, you have decided that it wasn't enough.
Between these Saturdays you expected him to drop everything for you. You expected him to pick up your groceries and come back to you by telling your child she didn't have a dad and that he didn't love her enough to "come home and be with mommy." You have not only torn him down by telling your child that she could no longer call him "daddy," you have been an absolutely horrid mother to her. Smoking pot in the same room, pushing her off the couch and letting her land on her face only to say "you shouldn't have done what you did and you wouldn't be hurting," beating her behind closed doors so she doesn't talk back to you, I've heard it all. You're a truly horrible person. I am not the type of person to believe someone is beyond saving. YOU are the exception. There is no saving you. You have destroyed every relationship you've ever had with family, friends, and partners. You will destroy your relationship with your own daughter in due time.
What hurts me the most is that you had to go so far just to get a reaction. You taught your own child to tell the police that he hurt her in ways that no man in their right mind ever would to their own daughter. You got him arrested. He's sitting in a cell right now, living with a broken heart that his own daughter would say something like that to his face and then turn around and happily tell the police that, not even knowing what she's saying. I watch your Facebook. You feel guilty. You're posting about God and how you need inner peace and have acknowledged your sins. You are the lowest of the low to commit such a heinous act to separate your daughter from her father and then turn around and hide behind God claiming that you're trying to fix things.
What you don't know is that we have recordings of every time you coached her in front of him. Video recordings of entire visits where we knew you were going to try something. Our lawyer was prepared for this and this case WILL be dropped in court. You are no credible source for that kind of claim. However, you've beaten him down so hard to the point that he's planning to never see his daughter again just to keep you out of his life. You've made it clear this will only happen again. We won't allow it. He'll be starting over with me of his own choice. I didn't have to say anything about it or ask him to. I have done nothing but support him, support his relationship with his daughter, helped him prepare for the day he walks into a court room, and I've loved him more than you ever did. You are insanely jealous of me, we've had multiple people on your side of things tell us that. I've done my best to be as open and friendly as possible. It just wasn't enough for you.
Now I sit here every single day wondering if today will be my last. If someone bust down my door and try to kill me for being the object of your jealousy. You've threatened my life before. You have my address. I know you've thought about it. He's already in jail. I'm by myself. I'm at my most vulnerable. At this point I expect it to happen any day now. I've been in a slump of depression for a month and I've been going to therapy every week since March because of this drama you've started. It's actually been an entire month since he was taken from me. Can you believe it? It's a miracle I've held on to sanity for so long. I can feel it slipping though. I've resorted to drinking hot tea and staring at a candle for about an hour at a time just to completely zone out and calm down. Drinking alcohol and smoking hasn't worked. I still go to work every day and go through the motions. It seems like every day I wake up, there's more drama that just makes the situation seem that much more hopeless. Sure, we can get the charges dropped. However, he won't be able to get a job after this. His reputation with multiple groups involving his hobby is destroyed. He can never go back to doing what he loved to do. And all of this because you were jealous?
Life will not be same after this. I know that. I think you didn't consider the consequences of your actions and the guilt is eating you up inside. That's good. I hope it does. Maybe you'll learn something. He will never be coming back after this. I will be making sure of it. You will not hurt him ever again. He will pay his child support and that will be all you know of about his existence past today. Do what you want with your daughter, you've ruined her relationship with her father already. She will never grow up to have a solid father figure because every person you've told her to call "Daddy" has left her. She will grow up in a very sad situation and there is nothing we can do to prevent that without hurting ourselves in the process only for nothing to change. You are the problem. I hope one day you realize that.
Until that day, I will be giving him the life that he wanted from day one. Without you. We plan to get married after this. After being together for three years and our relationship being rocky at best with your drama dictating it, I think it's time to tie the knot and go on a vacation for once. He agrees. It's the only thought that's keeping him optimistic through all of this. I think that's the saddest part. He's so scared of this happening again, he's willing to finally give up on his daughter because you've hurt him in the worst way and that's by taking him away from me and from our life we were building together. You messed up and you will continue to mess up. You believe that you are always in the right. God will teach you your lesson soon. Until then, we won't be there to watch you crumble. We're washing our hands of your toxic life.
I hope you eventually do what's best for your daughter,
-Resigned Girlfriend of Your Baby Daddy
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Best thing is the video. Not sure how you swung that. Counter sue for slander if you can. Really really bad to use the child as a pawn. Cant call him Daddy? Kicking her & taunting? Poor girl, she will figure out the truth eventually. But so much time will be lost. I hope you counter & get the child from her. Concern is for the child & whom she lives with. Are you for sure the child is his? After numerous, severely controlling, narcissistic actions like that, I'd start questioning. Shes jacked alright.
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