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my problem may sound very silly. but i could really use some help now. i aspire to be a writer one day and that's why i chose BA English. I failed my 12th due to various problems that prevailed in my home. i took a gap year and then i joined college. i worked really hard and i used to stress myself out during exams. the result was good. i scored first in all four semesters.i made my mom really proud. i don't know whether it's because i failed , but i became obsessed with marks. i used to stress myself to complete my portions 100% for every exam.now i am in my final year.i fell sick as i didn't take good care of me . i got ulcer. i didn't college for 19 days. i missed my first internals.during this time i realized i am losing touch of who i am by stressing myself out to be perfect. i love reading. but its been five months since i read a good book. i started seeing reading as work. not just that i also have poor eating and sleeping habits. i want change myself. i want to be who i am . i also realized i care so much about what others think of me. Now i have got my second internals in a week. i missed lot of classes so i don't know my portions to prepare. and all my major papers are tough this time. friends ? lets just say they're glad i missed out a lot of classes. that's how it really is. they hang out and all but when it comes to marks. they're not friends. i am procrastinating everything. i keep sulking and complaining. sometimes i just want to take a nap and never do anything. how do i deal with all this? is it okay if i don't score first this time ? does it matter if i lose marks this time just to get my real self back ? how do i come out of this phase? does this phase happen to everyone ? does others opinion really matter in my life ?
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Well the way i see it! Get back.
You are not losing your dream but if you see you are already going towards it. You are on your way, aren't you!
But what is pleasing about you is that you took a challenge and you did it. You see what is good with challenges is that it pushes you uut of your comfort zone ( if it is sufficiently hard ). This is the beauty of it for it makes you more stronger than before. Where half of the world is stuck in procrastination, you would be the exceptional star. If you really wanna turn back to your dreams, then turn back after you top the final year too. This is what will show your character!
With Love!
ReplyDefine why you have always wanted to be a writer. Then you take that and plan every way you could get to that goal but plan for space for yourself. We can get lost in the thoughts for the future and forget to take care of the now. Can't wait to read your work one day. With all the love in the world!
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