Social anxiety

Not many people know this, and neither did I... but when you’re alone (and lonely) shy and introvert sometimes your phone becomes your best friend, I’ve struggled to make friends throughout all my school years, never have I ever had a true friend....a friend is someone you can ‘lean’ into when you need to... but I’m my case having depression, and childhood trauma, there’s not really an easy way to make friends.. and yes I've hurt myself By: cutting my arms myself (and it doesn’t hurt) listening to suicidal songs and quotes, recently I tried to stopped that it’s been nearly 2 or 3 months since I last did that... but it still hurts, almost every night I cry... when someone gets mad at me I quickly go to the washroom sit in the toilet, and start saying I’m sorry, like I say it for no reason, and start moving back and forth, sometimes I think I’m going crazy.. I don’t myself anymore...