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You remember seeing stories about others in these long term abusive relationships and thinking to yourself “why would they stay. I would just leave.”
After being in one you see how hard it is to actually leave.
The relationship doesn’t start out abusive. It was just yelling and fights about money and having a shitty job with slow growth opportunities.
In those fights you take responsibility for
being a burden and stress out your partner not contributing enough money to ever growing expenses.
Then they hit you. At first you’re enraged and hit back. Then when the fight is over you forget they hit you first and even the reason why. You brush it off as a one time thing and that it won’t happen again.
Then they you again. This time he tries to choke you. They successfully does until they sees the fear in your eyes as you panic that you can’t breathe. He pushes you down as you fear for your life. After you get a few hits in and the anger is gone. Things seeming get better. You let out the anger and stress and feel better.
Then another fight happens. This time when they tells you to leave you start to pack your bags up to leave. You call someone close to to help you and provide a place to stay. You pack what’s important and decide you’ll come back later for the rest if it’s even worth it. But when you return home you see he is upset and remorseful. They talks you into staying even though you know it is against your better judgement. You stay to make it work. You don’t want to give up. You want to believe they are a good person still. You keep your stuff ready to go in an instant
Then you have another fight. This time you know it’s not your fault. You don’t take the blame this time. You finally have pride and respect in yourself to walk away. You decide you deserves more. You deserve better. You are worth more than just being someone else’s punching bag and way of taking out aggression.
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Thank you. I needed to hear this
ReplyPreach!
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