My feelings I’m too good at hiding

I’ve never really been the one to post or say my feelings. I’m the popular kid, and everyone thinks I have it all. So a quick story is I did this project I worked super hard on. The outcome of this project was that my friend and I eliminated plastic straws in our school and the middle school. As well as having no forks on Friday. My friends presented before us and we were accused of stealing ideas. After that passed over one girl from the group took the credit we did. She told the whole school about how she was the one behind the change. That passed over. She then said her posters she hung around the school had much more information on them. Not only are my ‘friends’ bashing us for helping the planet but also adults. Many people thought our idea was great! We were in college newspapers and on the radio/news. The pictures that were taken of us doing these things were posted by our school. Adults started commenting on Facebook about how we were destroying the Earth and how we were liberal, or taking the perspective politically.

Also another thing I need to get off my chest is how much I hate XC. Cross country (XC) is the hardest sport! But each year the football players get quarter of a milllion. I come to almost every game of eight volleyball or football. But I see nobody from my school at our HOME MEETS! We get very few “Good Jobs”. Also to make things worse I got a new coach (she’s great and all) but she is having all these requirements for a varsity letter. I’m sorry but ANYONE who does cross country has endured enough mental breakdowns they deserve it! And the only reason I’d want to do it is because of that letter! BUT I CANT GET IT!! I had the self motivation last year that got me really good times. But now that it’s not helping me with track sprinting, I have no reason to do it. I wouldn’t have quit in the beginning of the season but I’ve already ran 110 miles over the summer that there was NO WAY OUT, plus I felt a lot of pressure to stay in. Tell me what I should do!!