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If I could take my life right now without anyone being upset, I would. I let myself get stomped all over and I can’t do it anymore. I have nothing. I have no one. I’m a kid, I’m 18, I’m not supposed to know what this feels like yet. I thought I had time, I thought things were getting better. But all I can think about is going away forever and leaving everything behind. If I could take my life right now I would, but I’m scared I won’t be forgiven.
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We want to kill ourselves when we are overwhelmed. When we want it all to go away. I've been there before… I know… many, many times, beginning when I was 17. I'm 28. Sometimes it still sucks but dammit I made it to 28 and I intend to make until I die naturally. That's a real success. I may not be successful at much but at this I am: I've felt like this on and off for over 10 years. And when the feeling passes, I'm glad I didn't do it. Hold on. It may even get suckier but hang in there. You matter. Your life matters. It doesn't feel like that sometimes but it's true. Today is better because you are here on this earth.
When we feel like this we usually just need a break. We imagine death like sleep. And so when I feel this way I go to sleep or rest. Hang in there.
ReplyI feel the same way... I would do it if it would not upset anybody...
ReplyUpsetting people isn’t what puts me off, it’s the one person that finds me after that puts me off. What it would do to them. How cruel to put that as one of the memories they would have to live with forever, the damage that could cause. On saying that, I understand and feel the same about the desire about just not existing anymore. Take care. It’s all we’ve got left.
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