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I’m jealous of my brother, whichever friends I make, he takes and looks better, and he knows that I feel jealous, I honestly want to die, I’ve written many replies to help others. My closest friends are depressed and bullied, and I don’t have power to do anything. I’m a freshman, I’ve really ruined lives, and acted cold hearted. I’ve always told people to “stay strong” but I’m not that strong myself. I am jealous, I want to kill, to run away, to die. I have 2 close friends who both attempted suicide, one I last saw 2 months ago, and one I’ve seen 3 years ago. My brother is getting friendly with them too, and they always choose him over me. Oh what? “Make new friends?” Haha, every friend I make is soon taken by him, it used to be “hey come join us” to “ do you know where your brother is?”, please, I don’t know what to do. I’ve helped many people, but I can’t help myself. “Be myself?” No one likes that, I’ve done so a couple times, and promise me,NO ONE like that side. I’ve been listening to people’s woes for years, enough to a point to a point where I’m heartless. “ oh yeah, just another suicide note” , I need help, please, I know I sound bratty but please, any advice?
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