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one of my closest friends have been showing signs of toxicity for a while. she makes it seem like i'm being "desperate" when i want to go have fun with other people and laugh at my old photos, showing it to my other friends without my permission and refusing to delete it when i kindly asked her to. she always seemed to reinforce the idea of the "four of us" hanging out alone, not allowing anyone to have other friends. when one of my friends wanted to come hang out with us she seemed to exclude her, saying that she was "clingy". i have always been shy and sort of a follower, so i, admittedly, have been exclusive to that friend as well. however, i realized my mistake and talked it through with her (tbh i don't think she's over it and is still being kind of rude to me). i'm trying to distance myself from the toxic friend now and meet new people who will support me and not put me down. however, i've been friends with this toxic person for a while, part of her little "squad" (ew i hate that), so i feel like i have quite a bad reputation within the grade. i really want to make new friends but i feel like everyone hates me?? and i'm trying to keep my distance from people who smoke and drink every weekend haha not trying to ruin my organs here
but i feel like there's no one in my grade who i can be in a healthy friendship with while maintaining a good rep?? idk what to do help
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i feel you because since my school is so small, i can't really make new friends
hm well if i were in your situation, i'd be lost too, and you are doing a favor for yourself by keeping yourself away from toxic ppl! but maybe look for friends outside of school? i have a lot of online friends and honestly distance sucks but they really get you. especially since they'll be for you 24/7, won't go talk behind your back, and they have the same interests as you. also try joining a sport or activity outside of school? if you wanna be really bold, chat up someone at public transport or in public?? if not, try hanging out with someone you're close to in school but not "in your friend group"
i hope i helped, it sounds easier to say it rather than do it, but i give you good vibes <3
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