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These past 2 years has shown me a side of world i was never familiar..a side that seriously requires hardwork and struggle.Preparing for JEE is not an easy task it leads to various types of depressions but for me primarily it led to isolationism. I never felt such isolated in my entire life.My group circle..which consist of all A grade students are currently miles ahead of me in preparation of exam. I do not talk to them a lot nowadays and truly it is difficult as I have literally spend Past 10 years with them. I feel lost somehow.
I usually stare up in the sky to infinity. Our whole universe is exactly that infinity- A term no one can understand and yet we cannot even explain our existence altogether.
I do not know where I am going,or what i am ...but I have to go on.
A shalok inspires me to not to give up and I write it down literally everywhere to keep reminding myself:
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन ।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भुर्मा ते संगोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥
Our only right is to perform duties,but we are not entitled to fruits of our actions.Therefore we must not have any personal attachment to desire to get something nor should we run away from our duties.
I do need some advice of how to deal with frustration I feel at the end of everyday..but i am sure I would not give up on anything.
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Maybe having someone to just talk to who shares these same interests . What I’m getting is optimistic nihilism from this something I live by as well I have my Debby downer days too I’m fortunate enough to have an older brother to talk to when I feel down or frustrated. I feel everybody should always have someone to talk to .
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