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For the past two years, i can't think of a time when I've had a positive thought. I've been trapped inside my own head, doubting myself, not having any confidence and not believing in myself, being low all the time, pretending, acting and lying to people that I'm fine when in fact I have no idea what I'm doing. I gave up on myself a long time ago. For the past 4 years nothing in my life has been worth it. And maybe I deserve it, I deserve how i'm feeling right now. I tried hard but...I should have tried harder. I'm not a genius but i gave it my all. Still it wasn't enough. Maybe I'm looking for a excuse. I don't know anymore. When reality hit, it is really hard to take it.
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Sending you massive hugs and hope things get better. I don't know what you are struggling with, but I hope things start looking up for you. I am sure you don't deserve to suffer. Often, when we are not fine, it is easier to tell people that we are. We don't want to be judged, make others worry, or people are simply not available for whatever reason. There are helplines to call, support groups, but I have no idea where you live and so, I have no idea what to suggest. What I'd like you to do is simply be kind to yourself, though I know how hard that can be. Live one day at a time. Kindness seems to be in short supply these days. I don't know if you can find someone to talk to, but I hope that when someone needs support, that you can be their light. Whatever shortcomings bring you shame, kindness, compassion and just listening can be your strengths. But only do what you have the strength to. You're feeling low now, but if and when you feel better, remember this comment.
ReplySame here. I stopped giving myself a goal to reach. I’m not sure possibly because of all the pressure in life. I don’t know it’s just that I think of all these years and until now my life is still a mess.
ReplyThe biggest lie you can tell yourself is that you deserve it. The most harmful thought you can tell yourself is that you deserve it. You do not, never have, and never will deserve to feel that way. You deserve to be happy. Every day, you deserve to be happy. Once you realize that, maybe you can start on the path to feeling better. You don't have to rush. It will take time. You have a right though. You have a right to be happy, and you are worthy to be loved. You have a right to learn to love yourself.
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