Hmmmh

So, lately the complete me, is being so happy outside and as soon as I'm with myself, I feel like what to do now? How to feel now? Do I feel alone? But for the company whom to choose? I ignore the other gender as I don't find myself quite flirty and I believe to like someone, you should start knowing some person as a person not because you're alone or you want to be with someone. So basically I'm a girl with so much of perfection in all the situations I look at and yet so lazy to create one perfect life for myself. This is irresponsible me. I've been observing lately myself and realize, that I don't want to be looked weak, I don't want to be looked miserable. I just want to be seen perfect, curing others every now and then with their issues. A whole alot of problems of myself I've started ignoring and I don't accept it.

I DO NOT ACCEPT, that this life is not ideal.

This life is not what I want for myself.

THEY, who DON'T WANT to use me but kind of are using me, because I'm available for them, don't know that I NEED TO BE LEFT ALONE.

I NEED SOME TIME TO WORK ON MYSELF.

I NEED TO UNDERSTAND, that the real me, isn't ACTUALLY happy.

So why the face?

Why is it smiling for all stupid stuffs?

Whom I want to make happy?

They're happy in their own world.. they're not happy because I'm happy with them for a while. And that's the problem.

SMILES NEVER MEAN THAT YOU'RE HAPPY, BUT IT DOES DEVIATE YOU FROM YOUR REALITY AND REAL GOALS.

Eventually, these only people will come back to you and will say that hey!! What're you doing in your life nowadays? Oh, nothing?

Nevermind.

Nobody gives a darn!

And I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND!

BIG TIME! WORK.ON.YOUR.Effin.SELF.!!