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I am done with always being the one to reach out ALL THE TIME!!! Like if I am not the one reaching out to people that I know my phone is silent. That makes me wonder sometimes the kind of person that I must be. Once I do reach out they are all like hey!! What’s up or I was just thinking about you. Like to me if you were really thinking about me you should actually check on me. Of course that doesn’t happen. I’m told to get myself together or do whatever I need to so I can get in a good place. Apparently I need to be happy and stay that way. I’m not allowed to be depressed or be anxious. The situations in my life are a lot but I have to keep it together or do the work to make things great again. I can’t be sad it’s too much for the people around me. I’m so selfish if I get to the darkest place of depression where not wanting to live exist. I need to get serious help. Of course I don’t want to actually do anything but I’m sick in the head for even thinking like that. I’m tired of being told it will be ok, just surround myself around people, pretty much get told off etc. I’m done and over it. Reaching out hurts me in the long run. People suck and are selfish. People don’t care about people unless it benefits them. So I am no longer reaching out at this point. Why bother it’s hurting me in the end.
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i get you. you'll find people who actually care and are the right fit for you. don't worry. it'll take time.
and it kinda hurts to realize people don't actually give a shit.
but you'll find em.
<3
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