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Why does it seem like when I end the relationship with someone (even tho they were treating me bad) why I feel like my world is crumbling down every time ?
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The echoes of owls in the darkened hearts of the trees, the blades on the windowsill crusted with the pestilence that I drove from my veins. My eyes are wide op...
Luckily for me when it has reached to that extent, I stop giving a sh*t anymore because it doesn't bother me and I become numb. The moment I'm being severely taken for granted, abused, used, betrayed and toyed with, is the moment I walk away permanently without a single care in the world of what happens to whomever I walked away from or cut out of my life for doing me wrong big time.
It takes alot to get on my bad side but people have gone that far.
They could die and I won't give a sh*t enough in going to their funeral. I'm all out of f**ks to give, all out of chances and all out of forgiveness at this point. Especially, when I've given the chances and forgiven enough times for whomever to change.
I pity those who f**k me over.
I would be a cold heartless person towards them afterwards and for the severely hurtful bullsh*t they put me through.
_-Jas
ReplyWhen we meet people, they show us the best version of themselves. When there's a negative interaction, it hurts us for a while but we hope to see the positive again. In a toxic relationship, a good day with a partner is rare and so we cling to it. We hope to see the one we fell in love with again. I think it hurts when it ends because you remember a side to that person that you were so deeply fond of. You need to remember that you do deserve better and you will find better. There may be someone who will not toy with your mind and your heart. Until that day comes, try doing something nice for yourself as much as you can. You need to treat yourself right because you know that someone will not always do that for you.
ReplyLuckily for me when it has reached to that extent I stop giving a
damn anymore. It doesn't bother me and I become numb to it because you get use to it. The moment I'm being severely taken for granted, abused, used, betrayed and toyed with, is the moment I walk away permanently without a single care in the world to what happens to the other person.
I will be honest, I completely emotionally cut myself off from whomever i walked away from and keep them out of my life for doing me wrong big time.
People who want to test me on that can try, I garentee that their existence would mean very little to me for pushing their luck and taking advantage of me. It takes alot to get on my bad side but people have gone that far. To me, I don't see the point in giving a damn anymore for others whom weren't sincerely sorry, remorseful and made changes towards treating me better.
They could pass away and I won't care enough in going to their funeral. That's how messed up I can be and I always warn people of this and nobody wants to take me seriously. I'm all out of f**ks to give, all out of chances to give and all out of forgiveness at this point. Especially, when I've given chances and forgiven enough times for whomever to treat me like a human being by showing respect.
I pity those who screw me over.
I don't hold grudges. I really stop caring by becoming cold and detached to those who I feel don't deserve to be in my life anymore.
They don't exist to me anymore when people have crossed the line in severe ways and don't even show any remorse for it.
It's basically emotionally and mentally wiping people out of your life, like they didn't matter.
Besides, for the amount of turmoil they caused, why should I?
_-Jas
ReplyI also like to add that all the good times and good moments for me gets wiped out too, along with every other experiences I had with whomever. It's like it never happened at all and it's shut off completely. I get really detached that I can't even remember that there was any good at all. That's how bad it is.
It's incredible what the brain can do when it's pushed to the limit.
_-Jas
ReplyI know how you feel.
I told my incredible boyfriend something that hurt him so badly, but he stayed. But just that thought of losing him for good (I mean for good) scared me straight and everything felt like it was ending right there. But, it got better. It’s meant to get better, just remember that.
Reply