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I’ve come to the conclusion that mentally, I’m not nor ever was in a good headspace. All of this poetry and listening to music and watching movies or tv is just something to distract me from killing myself. I know people will tell me “get help” or “you have so much to live for” or “i’m sorry, you’re strong and will get through this” but maybe strength is finally admitting that I’m not ok and that it’s ok to want to die. It’s ok for me to want to disappear for once. The meds, the therapy, the coping mechanisms. They helped to allow me the ability to put on a show for the people around me, to show them that I’m ok and I’m getting better. When in reality, I’m exactly the same as last time just less anxious. Anyways, I just wanted to say, adios, I’ve had a good run. Now to let how I really feel take over.
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ReplyWell atleast u got meds. Me I deal with my depression and emptiness without meds. I think thats the bad side of me being strong.I just keep up withmy depression and i like a good cry its like for some moments I release some of my depression through crying
Replyjust keep writing. writing is the best outlet. write about how you feel and be honest. just keep writing. it has helped me. crack open a journal or laptop at 2:00 am and splatter yourself across the pages with no fear.
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