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i want to let this out, to free myself and start building a new me. For a while ive been having an internal battle with myself, just as all of us have in our lives. a year ive built to become better but ive always seemed to get into a rut due to my mindset. misfortune and a fear mindset fogged my vision but i kept pushing to better myself day by day. My biggest weakness of not believing in myself and not letting myself be free. ive been my biggest enemy, letting thoughts govern me and not my REAL self, i was driven by ideas not certiny. i lost myself when i lost my first love, which was a blessing but it took time for me to really see it as positive. at the end of it i am really happy and grateful to have someone love and care for me. how it ended wasnt the way i really envisioned and it hurt but i had to feel the pain to heal and make myself greater. the biggest lesson i learned from my road to healing/greatness, is being myself. for a while i have been battling with my sexuality, i became confused and ashamed, because i found myself with the same sex. I didnt feel like its truly me, i felt like i wasn't being true to myself, only feeded a false feeling. i've come to realize that its life trying to tell me to be myself and not be scared. to let my true light shine and let it all out. the other obstacle ive faced is not being certain with myself, second guessing myself. feeling not good enough and letting this get to me for 20 years of my life. ive come to see that everything ive battled with, that hasn't been an outside force behind it, has just been me(my mind) this whole time. i've read the best self-help, meditated, pushed myself only to realize that i haven't been doing it for the right reasons. i did it to escape what i didn't like about myself, where i should/am now doing it not to escape but to love everything about myself. the good, the bad and the ugly which has helped me strive to be better and to let no other person(including myself) keep me down. life is meant to have up and downs but its about how you get back up, are you going to let yourself get pushed back down or rise above and become the best you. life is amazing, just look for the positive and let it shine the path to peace, love, happiness and most importantly your dreams
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