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Your dark eyes draw me in in a way I don't fully understand. They have a youth I’ve passed and a wisdom I have yet to know. Your glances seem to dig deep into my thoughts. Your fleeting smiles are burned into my mind's image of you. It’s wishful thinking to hope you dream as I do. To know this torture were mutual would at least give me some satisfaction, in a sad and cruel way. But to even imagine you long for someone you hardly know is fanciful at best and to think that that person would be me--well that's simple stupidity at it's finest. For glances do not turn into touch and kindness does not equate to attraction.
Even if the draw where bilateral, it would only be foolery for us to allow such a pull to sway us. You have far too much to give someone else and I have far too much to lose. Brokenness and catastrophe lines that road best not taken. Yet, in spite of all my efforts, my dreams haunt me with your form, your face, your smell. Your shadow looms around every corner of my mind. This obsession is wasted energy, but I have no way of ending this torment of pointless captivation.
Please, I beg you, slander my name, berate my character! Do anything to help me despise you, dislike you or better yet forget you altogether. The very thought brings a sort of sadness to my heart but hope to my soul. That I could be free of this meaningless infatuation and have my mind and heart back on greater things. I truly hope you never notice me. Whether it is a trick of chemistry, of fate or of pure delusion on my part, nothing good can come of you being on my mind and echoing in my dreams.
I want free of it! Of your fleeting smiles and your deep brown eyes, the whole lot of it! You are not some ‘thing’ to be desired. You are a person who I am sure is wonderful, but a person none the less that I do not know. At least not well enough to have such absorbent thoughts and feelings about. I have never sat down to coffee with you or had a real conversation outside of passing pleasantry. Infatuation is for children, to think any more of you this way, without knowing you-- it's simply a violation of your character. By which I reiterate, a character I do not know but can only observe from afar and guess at. So please mind, let these thoughts go and let me sleep peaceably again.
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ReplyI wish
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