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Ive never been much of a writer or good with words really.. I just want to work out some things im feeling. Its been a week since I caused a strain in our relationship. I havent been able to get ahold of you except that phone call the day after. We said we still loved eachother and that you were unsure of our relationship. I found a note kept in my wallet. The one you gave my coworker to give to me that night you came into my bar months ago. You said I was doing great and that you loved me with some cute x's and o's. You signed it as your girl. Its the only thing I have left except for one picture that I just cant get rid of. I found it today and it lifted my mood even though I cant see or talk to you still. I wrote out some of our past on a message with no way to send it.
- Youll probably never see this but this was before you knew me as an asshole. Everything was perfect, you were everything and perfect. I messed up, i didnt treat you how you deserved to be treated. You were my support and i really did try in the beginning, even though i know some days i was cranky and in a bad mood. Nobody is perfect and i already had a second chance. Ill remember our marcos pizza and movie dates. The time we went on the ferris wheel at the carnival. Walking barefoot to the bench where we sat and smoked cigarettes in the last months of summer. I miss your voice, your laugh, your smell, holding you, just everything seems lost.
Im doing my best to give you space to heal. I know that if you feel anything like i have been, its rough and im trying to stay positive even though i just want to cry. Im working on myself to become a better person, and honestly, id love to be called yours again..but i know im not deserving of that title. Your hapiness is worth more than anything to me so ill keep my distance and let you live your best life. I still love you to pieces. -xoxo your guy
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