Jaded and Sad

I've been on a few dates with a new person this past week, but we had a small argument last night because their ex from over a year ago was at an event that they invited me to, and they began to act strange towards me. This is going to be so jumbled because I don't really have my thoughts together completely, which is ironically why I'm writing this, so I can figure out how to Get Over It.

He told me they broke up a year ago and he felt uncomfortable being affectionate in places where they're around, but they're hyper affectionate towards me any other time. I feel like they're lying about them being broken up for a year, because their behavior makes it seem like they at least kept up some sort of residual thing until like, fairly recently. I slept at their house last night after we talked, and I got up at 5 am to catch a Lyft home and get ready for work. I walked A LOT this morning prior to coming in since I had time to kill, and it' s a good stress reliever for me.

But, I'm just...so sad. And I don't know totally why or how to get over it. Perhaps it'll go away later. I think I'm mostly sad because I live in a city that I don't want to be in nor plan to remain, and the dating scene here is terrible (even though it's rather a rather large city). I don't know. I love affection - giving and receiving - and I just wish I had more of it. I'm lonely and it makes me feel like I'm hurting somewhere but can't pinpoint it. I have friends but they're either not emotionally close or don't live here. I'm at a point in my life in which I want to explore things with someone, but also want to experience a new place. I'm just sad. I'm at work and I want to just go home and cry it out. I want to not be this wrapped up in something that isn't really my problem and is OK because we've only been hanging out for a week. But it's not actually about him, which is why I didn't want to talk to him about it. This has been a problem of my own for quite some time.

I'm mainly just vomiting this out into the universe to process through it. I will be fine. I just want companionship lol and wish I had more community.

Feel free to comment. I am NOT going to bring this up to this person because it isn't their responsibility or problem, as their ex isn't mine, nor is it really about them. This situation just triggered a deeper problem within me that I need to work out and process through myself.