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I'm sorry you hurt me, I'm sorry I hurt you. I look back and think of all the memories we had together both good and bad. Why didn't we try harder? How did we fall apart? I've never doubted my love for you. I loved you more than I've ever loved another man before. Hurtful things were said and done. I was left feeling inadequate.
I wish I would have tried harder...I wish we both would have. There's no perfect relationship. I'm sorry for giving up on you, it's a decision that I'm having a really difficult time living with. I'm not sure where to go from here. I've lost myself, I've lost my life. I don't know who I am anymore. It's like all the hurt over the years have finally caught up with me and is now raining down on me in a never-ending storm. I see no light.
I just want to accept all of my decisions, move on, and heal. I want happiness for me and you. The things that once brought me so much joy brings me nothing but tears and heartache now. It's hard to enjoy anything because everything was once shared with you.
I'm not writing this to get you back, I'm just trying to let you go. I can't seem to move forward without fully letting you go. I don't even know how to do that but I am hoping that by writing my feelings down that I can make them tangible, leaving them behind in this letter and removing the pain from my heart.
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First things first- remember that after a hurricane comes a rainbow. There is always beauty when things seem rough and uncertain. I have definitely been in your situation before. Being in a relationship, we learn so much about ourselves. There will always be things that we wish we could have done differently, but just that's how we learn to grow and learn to be the people we want to be. And you're absolutely correct about there being no "perfect" relationship. You will learn what things in a relationship that you value and things that you would be happier without. It seems like you are definitely doing something for yourself and thats making a decision based off your own happiness and right now it may seem difficult, but you will learn to thank yourself for taking a chance. See the beauty in yourself because it's there. You were born with it. Smile because you can. Love yourself because you deserve it. Be an example of who you want to be. You got this! You always have!
ReplyReading this i feel you are still not ready to move on still your heart loves and misses. Hopefully one day you will heal and be free of pain but definitely not now. Take it off from your chest it helps. I wish at least your person come to know about your love ,longing and inner struggle.
May God give you all strength and peace.
ReplyBaby!!!
Baby i miss you.
I do want you back.
We can still make this work.
You are my happiness.
If you leave me how can i ever be happy.
Reply