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It seems as if every girl is the same, everyone seems dull. As if I have lost my perception of color and everything is now in black and white. Are my feelings exaggerated to a point where I am unjustly criticizing everyone I meet? Quite possibly. I feel a kind of sadness that I feel is passed my years. I don’t know how to make it stop, I try to fill it with things. For it only to remain, not budging an inch. Oh, how I wish I can make it go away or at least be a seasonal pain, instead of this constant pain. Fantasy’s run my mind now, not letting reality take place. I'm told that fantasies are bad and should be let go. But how can I when this fantasy is the sweetest. It gives me false hope which allows me to continue trudging on. I am barely alive, I talk to myself to ease the pain of it all. People think I’m crazy so I keep these feelings inside. I wake at night, wishing I could to talk to her, to send a message. Deep down I know I can’t so I fight the urge. The closest thing I have to being able to talk to her again is the hope she appears in my dreams. Even this is a bittersweet event. It gives the illusion of everything thing being alright, but when I awake it is all stripped. Once again I am left alone.
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