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My whole life growing up I’ve always felt like I was just surviving. I grew up in a violent life raised seeing violence and lived in one of the most dangerous cites in american. Been to jail twice and made something of myself at the end of it all watched my father drink himself to death funny enough he had his PHD in psychology and was abusive to my mother and sister I always did my best protecting them even to this day as a grown man I take care of my mother living on the complete opposite side of America. Got a good career and a nice car well at least in my opinion but I’ve just been longing for someone to be close with someone to just raise a family with and yet I find myself so scared to get close to anyone but what am I to do when I’ve been told most my life as a man to just suck it up and keep moving forward. I always feel like I’m hurting people I keep feeling the past and I just wanna forget that part of my life I wanna forget the violence I wanna forget my mistakes I just wanna move past it all have a simple boring life wife kids and dog but I feel like I’m stuck in a dark pool of tar that I’m drowning in letting it fill my lungs I’m not saying I’m gonna harm myself or anything I’m just tired and I just wish I could lean on someone I just want a soft place to lay my head and that’s just the short hand of it I could probably write a book about my life.
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