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I’ve had a crush on the same guy for 5 years, and even though we’re close friends, even though we used to text everyday(the last couple months we haven’t), even though he even asked me to go to the park with him, I found out that he has had a crush on my best friend for nearly 3 years. When he told me that I was heartbroken, but since I always knew he wouldn’t like me I decided to instantly jump on the bandwagon and supported him and my best friend. I told him that I thought they would be great together(and they would), plus I knew my best friend had had a crush on him in the past. I buried my feelings and swallowed my pride as time and time again I helped set them up, been the middleman, and encouraged both of them to come clean with their feelings. It felt really good doing this for awhile, it felt almost as if I was almost happier with the two of them having their love story blossom in front of me. And to be honest I had never felt closer and I had never had him trust as he has in the last couple of months. I knew most of his attention was on her but just the brilliant smile he had on his face, the energy he had when he talked to me, and even the grateful little glances he would throw my way were just so heartwarming. For awhile I thought I may have even gotten over my silly crush. But then the feelings came down crashing like a wave, then my crush started pushing away everything around him, even his guy friends to talk to my friend, then my best friend I found out had never actually liked him but had just been play flirting with him and had even ignored me for the sake of that, then everything in my world of relationships shattered. He knew my friend didn’t like him now, but still, he pursued her. I tried to comfort him, I did and he smiled and just gave the polite answer if I appreciate it. But I knew that he hadn’t taken any of it to heart, and as he looked down I felt my heart break and all the feelings I had for him returned stronger and more potent than any other feeling I have had in my lifetime. I went away after that but as each day passed, it’s getting harder and harder to control and now even if I know my friend doesn’t like/maybe likes him at this point? it hurts seeing them flirt and laugh and even though I know it’s selfish, I feel like I’m being ignored by the two people I loved the most. And now every time I see them together it makes me want to cry. But the problem isn’t that I want pity from my friends, I know I brought this on myself and it’s not that big of a deal and I just need to get over it, because it’s not like I was dating him right? I know that I just don’t know how to get over him, or her, or just all of this mess in general. I don’t even know if a weakling like me can. And you know the dumbest part? There has without any doubt in my mind been a day since I first saw him that I have not thought about him. In fact, it seems like he’s a constant buzz in the back of my mind, constantly! Every time I try to shake the image out, every time I try to distract myself, the minute I let my mind wander it goes right back to him, and I feel like a creep. I don’t know what to do anymore, I just don’t.
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My life changed for the better when I finally learned how to speak up and be honest when I liked someone. It's worth it. Even if this particular person doesn't reciprocate your feelings.
ReplyHoney, you need to get this off your chest. Sometimes It's ok to be a little selfish. Who knows? Maybe he'll realize the gem right in front off him.
Good luck ❤
-that one random teen
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