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This is my story, back in 2003 I was finally able to be with a woman that I loved when we were in high school, the thing is we were never official, I went off to college and that didn’t work out, I went to a college in another state and we had lost touch, i enlisted in the army and married and had children, years went by and my ex wife had cheated on me every time I was deployed, I decided to get out of the army and struggled some with work, i went and joined the army reserves, I ended up getting mobilized to go to Afghanistan, before leaving we met again sparked a relationship, it was everything I wanted in a relationship, our interactions where amazing our intimacy was intense, while in Afghanistan we emailed and talked when I was able to, some of the situations I found myself made me question life, I lost a friend, survived a vehicle IED and seen what we are capable of doing to each other, but the whole time I thought of her, thought of watching the wind dance through her hair, remembering certain glints of light around her eyes. we emailed and talked about the dreams of us, the deployment ended and I came home, I found a nice house and completed my time in my reserve contract, landed a government job and bought a home, she would drive up and stay on weekends (she lived in another county in our state) the last time we saw each other was great but something seemed different, we made plans and when it came time to meet she wasn’t there, her Facebook disappeared and her phone no longer accepted my calls or texts, I felt abandoned and alone, years went by and I met someone and out of the blue the woman I loved messaged me, she had been married the whole time and had hid it and now is divorced and pregnant, I wanted closure and we met and talked some, I felt closure had been brought but now I want her back in my life, I lay awake at night thinking of her while my partner is sleeping, I walk around at night thinking of her, I look at the moon and wonder if she is looking at it the same time I am. I feel devoid of life, I feel hollow, I want to feel her next to me again. I hate that I live a lie.
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