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I felt a lot of pain lately. I have been in pain. I was always blaming everyone else if something bad or negative happened to me. I always knew something was wrong. I never exactly knew why. But now i do. Every single thing that happened to me is because of me. I am the problem. And i always was. The only person i can blame, is me. I am not good, pretty and smart enough. I'm trying really hard but i'm tired of it. But there is too much pressure of my parents. They never understood me and probably never will. It's just so hard when i need to talk to someone because my own thoughts are killing me inside and there is no one to talk to. My mom never understands me, she usually never gives me an advice. Mostly when i need it. My friends are the ones that understands me. But my parents dont let me be too much with them. And i'm alone. Its actually one of the worst feelings when you know that people are around you but you still feel lonely. DONT TAKE ME BAD. Again, im not blaming my parents for this. Im blaming myself. Because im not the perfect child they always wanted. And because im not the perfect girl that one boy i have feelings for wanted. I can never be her. There are just so much feelings and things that are hurting me but i cant talk to anyone. But at the end of the day the real problem is me.
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